(Closed) not inviting future SIL

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This just spells big trouble for me. Do you want to start your married life with his whole family against you? I think you need to have Fiance have a big talk with Future Sister-In-Law.


Post # 4
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ew she sounds like a horrble Future Sister-In-Law, sorry you have to deal with that. At least you and your Fiance are on the same page with it all. It would be horrible if she was treating you like that and Fiance thought she was an angel.

If his family say anything just be honest and tell them what’s happened, you have nothing to be ashamed about, she does. But maybe let Fiance do most of the explaining, they might be more undertanding of the reasons if it comes from him.

Post # 5
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow, that sounds awful! Maybe you should sound talk to the in-laws and see what they think about inviting her, maybe they agree with you!

But if they really want her there – elope!

Post # 6
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree, sounds like big trouble.


Post # 8
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

I say let your Fiance make this decision after you guys have had a really serious “big picture” talk.  Big picture meaning every future holiday, every future family occasion – how is that going to go for you?  You need to decide if not inviting them gives them ammo for life against you, and if you both care about that.

I have toxic family members that I have cut out of my life and have no regrets.  I looked at the big picture (the rest of my life) and made the decision that was healthiest for me.

She sounds truly toxic and off her rocker.  She is the kind of person “I” would have no problem cutting ties with but she is your FI’s family and whatever decision you guys make you (he mostly) will live with for the rest of your lives.

She attacked you unprovoked and that says volumes to me.  What will she do in front of your future children?

If you cut her out, what are the consequences to your Fiance as far as his parents and the rest of the family?  Do the family members who get along with you think she is a nut bucket?  Do they see what is going on here?

Think about the big picture and make the best decision. 


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