(Closed) Not inviting guests to the ceremony? Anyone ever heard of this before?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2 posts
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yes, we were going to have a huge reception and then just get married at the court house or something of that sort. But because we are having a ball type reception and some of the family doesn’t want to attend that we are now having a ceremony with a few guests.



So I guess I should have read the whole post and then answered. But I can’t mine so… oh well. 


Post # 4
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

My cousin did this.  I thought it was really odd.

Post # 5
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I can see that if it’s a courthouse ceremony, but if they’re having a church wedding or some other more formal ceremony, it does seem odd. Maybe she found a chapel she loves but it’s too small? Maybe their ceremony is going to be so short she doesn’t think it’s worth the while for people to come (especially if they’re not religious)?

Post # 6
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have known this to happen where the ceremony venue is really small — such as a very small church or chapel where they just can’t accommodate all their guests.

Still not great, though.

Post # 8
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

It sounds like people are invited to that, just not everyone.

Post # 9
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

A bunch of friends of mine just went to a wedding like this and they found it strange as well…They all said it was hard to connect to the party as a wedding, since they weren’t witness to the ceremony and the emotions behind that….The party will still be fun tho, but I do think it’s a bit strange…

Post # 10
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not quite an answer to your question…

I’m having a hometown wedding, but with quite a lot of friends and family flying in from overseas. We want a more ‘intimate’ ceremony (that and that location can’t hold THAT many people) so we will prioritize immediate family and those who are flying in from overseas to the ceremony, and invite more people to the reception…. I guess for us, because our special day will be on a Monday, we can sort of justify it… that most of the ‘locals’ will have to work anyway, so its okay that they aren’t there for the noon time ceremony.



Post # 11
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sounds like space is not an issue! In which case, the wedding in general sounds like, “hi, we don’t want you at our ceremony, but come to the reception and bring a gift”. I don’t see a logistical reason for this, therefore not cool. ESPECIALLY with 6 hours travel. They are not considerate hosts. I would not go.

Post # 12
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We have a wedding to go to this weekend that they’re doing this.  We don’t have to travel really far, but I’m sure some do.  A little odd, but I guess to each their own.

Post # 13
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

We’re doing that. We’re not having a huge party for the reception, just a dinner with no dancing, but we’re still inviting over 100 people. I have huge anxiety about being in front of people, plus I get horrible migraines, so we’re doing everything we can to prevent migraines on wedding day, which includes me not standing in front of 100 people as they stare at me. But my fi wanted to celebrate with everyone, so we’re inviting them to the dinner after. I’m ok if they don’t come from far away though, I understand why they wouldn’t and would not be offended at all. We do have a lot of family who are coming, knowing that they aren’t invited to the ceremony and our reasonings for it, and I’m sure they’d rather see us get married but they also just want to be there for us whatever way they can be.

Post # 14
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We were invited, but declined … a wedding that only close family members attended the ceremony and they had reception with 100 guests after.

Post # 15
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Yup, I went to a wedding last October where no one was invited to the ceremony other than close family. We traveled about 6 hours by car and spent the night even though we were only invited tot he reception which was a back yard catered event. In fact, it was a chilly evening so the bride didn’t keep her dress on once the photos were taken. I don’t really know what their reasoning was but it was still a nice celebration.

This weekend, I will attend a wedding with a similar situation, due to limited space of 40 seats in the chapel, we anticipate most friends will wait outside to throw rice after the ceremony then head over to the reception. This is clearly a space issue and we don’t want to take a seat away from family members but we are again traveling 6 hours and spending 2 overnights to attend.

To each their own I guess.

Post # 16
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is really uncommon, I wonder why they chose to do that.  I would be a lil annoyed too.  I’ve heard of people doing this at a hometown wedding, but not a destination wedding.  Although, and I hope this isn’t mean or insensitive, at least you’re invited to the more fun part of the wedding.  Is that wrong?  I mean the ceremony always makes me cry and some of them are boring.  The reception is usually fun! 

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