(Closed) Not inviting MIL to wedding…??

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Some family members are toxic. She would be one of them. Keep things the way they are!

Future Father-In-Law is toxic, but Fiance keeps forgiving him for all the shit he does ugh  one day!! he will be out of our lives

Post # 4
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would say no. Based on that history I would not want her anywhere close to future children. Who knows what she tells them when you’re not around… I would just drop her, she provided food for your Fiance when he grew up – great, send her a thank you card and disconnect.

Post # 5
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Agree with the PP’s. Just because she gave birth to him does not mean he (or you) owe her your time, or friendship. She made her bed. 

Toxic people like this don’t have any place in your life, of the lives of your future children. As @eocenia: said, she could continue to spew lies to them as they grow up. 

Post # 7
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with @kjo: some people are toxic. You need to do what is best for your Fiance and yourself. If I were you, I would cut all ties and never look back. She doesn’t sound like the kind of person you need in your lives.

Post # 9
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

RUN AWAY. I’m not inviting my Mother-In-Law or my BIL. They are no longer in our lives and we are all the happier for it. You don’t need toxic people like that.

Post # 10
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am not inviting my mother to my wedding for way too many reasons than I’d like to get into.  I love her, but she’s toxic.  Sometimes being family is not enough, OP.  You guys need to do what is right for you on your wedding day.

Post # 11
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Like PPs have said, she’s toxic. I don’t want any toxic people at our wedding either, and some parents don’t really deserve to be recognized.

My Fiance hasn’t talked to his parents in over a year and doesn’t plan to. They are extremely toxic and we aren’t inviting them. I get where you’re coming from. Sometimes I feel guilty for not doing it and question if we’re making the right decision, but then I remember just how toxic they are and even more than that – that we aren’t the only couple going through this. It helps.

I wouldn’t invite her if I were you. She might throw a fit, but you don’t need to explain yourselves. I’m sure she knows why, its just a matter of whether or not she wants to acknowledge it and try to fix it or not.

Post # 12
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Also – FI’s sister has three kids and felt guilty about cutting them out of her lives. “My kids need their grandparents”, she would say.

And then she got over her own guilt and realized that her kids didn’t NEED to have grandparents… at least not these ones! And that these grandparents were more harmful to her kids than anything else. Its tough, but you need to protect your future children from people like this (lest they end up with the same patterns that your Fiance and his father have…)

Post # 14
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

What does your FH want? I’d respect his wishes either way, although I would not want her there

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