Post # 1
Cutting down the guest list really stinks. And it’s especially hard when you’re trying to find a way NOT to invite a person’s husband or wife, and I know it’s not proper etiquette to leave them out. However, my best friend — who is in my wedding — was sexually abused by her step dad growing up, and her mom is STILL married to the guy. It’s awful, I know.
Anyways, I’m also inviting my best friend’s other family members, like her mom and sister. I do NOT want to invite the step dad, though. Not only did he abuse her, but he also contacted me when I was a kid to try and do similar things to me. The whole situation is extremely messed up.
So… HOW can I address the invitations so it’s clear that he is not invited without it looking extremely rude? Maybe there’s not a way..? By the way, everyone in the family is aware of what he did to my best friend, and what he tried to do to me, so it shouldn’t be a shock to them that I’m not inviting him.
Thanks so much.
Post # 3
@lolo1986: There are some people where it’s just known that when one person is invited their spouse is not because of the situation. Does this usually happen with the family when the daughter is involved.
You could either go with the __ of 1 seat is reserved type of wording on the RSVP card, or just put her name alone on the invite. If the RSVP card is returned for 2, it would be fine to contact her IMO.
Post # 4
Are you close enough with your friends mom to contact her directly and just let her know upfront that you would love to have her there, but you would feel uncomfortable if friend’s step dad came?
Post # 5
I agree, do the
—-seat(s) have been bla bla bla
— will be atending
Post # 6
Yeah, I would do the _ of 1 seats for EVERYONE because a) you want uniform invitations and b) no one can possibly think of bring him along. Also you can keep tighter numbers on your guests.
I can’t believe your friend’s mom is still married to him, though!
Post # 7
I say be as blunt and obvious about it as you can. Who cares if it’s rude?! The jerk deserves it!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Personally, I wouldn’t invite either the stepdad or the mother. The mother continues to be married to the man that molested her daughter and everybody just goes along with it? No thanks. By staying with him she is supporting his behavior and it must be a slap in the face to her daughter every day her mother remains with that man.
Post # 10
Post # 12
First off, what a horrible situation to have to deal with. So sorry for your friend (and you)!
Second, I agree with everyone above. I would make it clear that there is only 1 seat available and only put her name on the invite. If she questions it, I would just say that there isn’t space and leave it at that.
Or I wouldn’t invite the mom at all.
Post # 13
@beachbride1216: This. I definitely wouldn’t invite the mother either. Disgusting.
Post # 14
@beachbride1216: +1 A person who covers up child molestation is just as bad as the molester.
Post # 15
@beachbride1216: totally agree. The mom is just as bad as the husband for staying with him.
Post # 16
@beachbride1216: “Personally, I wouldn’t invite either the stepdad or the mother. The mother continues to be married to the man that molested her daughter and everybody just goes along with it? No thanks. By staying with him she is supporting his behavior and it must be a slap in the face to her daughter every day her mother remains with that man.“
I could not agree more!