Post # 1
I know this topic has come up before but I still need to ask…
My SO and I were/are, engaged, completed guest list and contracted a venue (which has something to do with the budget and location capacity) months before some of our friends are/will be married.
We’ve decided to invite closer friends that we see every week over family we see twice a year to keep it more intimate as my side is rather large. But now that some friends will be engaged after us but married before us, are we forced to alter our guest list, especially if it alters the budget and changes the overall feel of the venue based on capacity? In addition to never hanging out the their SO?
Also, these friends would have other friends they know who are also invited. There isnn’t one person invited that does not know at least one person at the weddiing.
Invite SO or No SO?
Post # 3
IMO it’s rude not to invite SOs, especially if they’ll be married.
Post # 4
Yes, you have to invite the SO’s if they are engaged or married. I don’t think yoy would like to be invited to a wedding where your SO wasn’t on the guest list. :/
Post # 5
How many people could you possibly be talking about? I can’t imagine you have, like, TEN friends who’ve gotten married in that time period. Since it’s more likely one or two people, go ahead and invite them. It’s the polite thing to do.
Post # 6
I think you have to invite them. Wouldn’t you be offended in their shoes?
Post # 7
It’s sad that you are rationalizing and looking for validation to NOT invite a guest’s spouse. Just because they know someone at the wedding doesn’t mean they should have to come alone.
Just from your introductory sentence, I think you know what is the right thing to do.
Post # 8
If you’re hanging out with them weekly how do you not know their SOs? And yes, you do have to invite them.
Post # 9
@lawyerchick13: Actually one of the weddings happening prior to mine, my SO isn’t invited to but we both understand because my SO isn’t close to the groom (I am) and has never met his soon-to-be wife…
Post # 10
Etiquette Snob here… lol
YES you have to make alterations…
The Rule of Etiquette is that those that are Married – Living Together / Common Law – Engaged are “recognized social units”
So to continue on your merry plans with your original list would be a visible SNUB to them and their change in status.
Reverse the tables…
I mean honestly how would YOU FEEL if shortly after your wonderful Wedding with the Hubby you LOVE & ADORE and proud to show off to the rest of the world along with your newly minted MR & MRS STATUS was not invited to a Social Event like a Weeding… to accompany you ??
Do the right thing… invite the couples who have earned the right to be there as a couple.
Hope this helps,
PS… IF space and budget are an issue with your Venue, you may have to consider going to a B-List to make things work… so you should start thinking in that regard. Prioritize your Guest List and see where you are at. If you need to consider a B-List, post again, and I can give you some help in that regard.
Post # 11
@imabridesmaid: If you would rather invite someone you’ve never met over family without rationalization, then that’s you but it’s the world we live in.
Post # 12
@This Time Round: Thanks much!! We will start a B-list
Post # 13
@peachacid: good point, thanks!