(Closed) not just ‘a day’

posted 9 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

“because were nuts and in love” yes!!

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think the consensus on the dress thread was “to each her own”, and same thing applies here, in my opinion. To me, it’s only one day. Yes, it’s the only wedding day I’ll ever have, and I spend hours planning all the details. But only because I enjoy browsing online and DIYing and talking to vendors, not because it makes a difference in my life. I’m not nuts because I’m in love. Being in love makes me want to be with my fiance, to love him and be a better person for him. It does not make me want to plan the perfect wedding, and I never lose perspective of the fact that no matter how amazing or horrible that day, it won’t matter in the long run. 

Our parents had simple weddings and happy marriages, so they know that splurging on a wedding is unnecessary. Some families apparently don’t feel this way and want to spend their money on $50,000 “perfect” weddings. I am not going to judge this, but I might ask questions about it to understand their thought process. 

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Valid point. I think it is just anti-bridezilla-ism that makes those comments come up. IMO you need to find balance. Yes, it is a VERY VERY important day… but not as important as a marriage. If I let myself think “it’s ok bc its my wedding” for everything I’d end up losing my job to planning and drowning in debt post-wedding! “It’s only a day” is how a lot of brides (like myself) make it okay that I can’t afford a 10K dress (or really, a 1K dress), and that I don’t have the time to do everything I’d like to do. I don’t think they mean anything bad by it 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with Corgi, it’s very much about striking a balance. Yes, it’s my wedding day and I’ll remember it forever but what’s more important to me is that I’m starting out on a new and exciting adventure of marriage with the man whom I love. But yes, at the same time I’m putting in a year of planning for a perfect day so of course I want it to be perfect. 

But then life is all about striking a perfect balance between all the different variables in your life, work, play, family, etc. And everyone is allowed to think about their wedding day however they want it 🙂 Does this mean I’d like some recognition about the fact I spent 3 months tracking down the perfect wedding dress and then 5 for the perfect shoes? Yes, I would, but I also understand if another bride would look at me askance and think I was nuts.

Post # 8
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@alice: I haven’t looked at the Say Yes… post (and I’m not sure I want to!) but I’m just going to say cheers to you and that I agree with what you’re saying 🙂 Welcome to WB!

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