Ok, the way I see it you have two choices:
1. Endure a short lived but sharp pain by ending things with him now and having to explain to your family and friends that you are no longer getting married.
2. Marry him because you don’t want to hurt his feelings now and endure a lifetime of unhappiness.
It honestly doesn’t really even sound like you like him that much. I can sympathize because I was in a similar situation (although I was in my early/mid 20s at the time). The guy I had been dating for three years and was on the brink of getting engaged to had so many qualities that drove me nuts – he wasn’t successful, didn’t have initiative, and had a lot of values that I disagreed with. Yet, I stayed with him for three years because I knew he loved me unconditionally and I feared I wouldn’t find that anywhere else. And like you, he did nothing for me in bed – when he would touch me, it was not enjoyable at all, but I just chalked it to not having a very high sex drive (or so I thought at the time).
I eventually ended it before we broke up and was single for quite a while after that. I met my now DH a few years later and as soon as I met him, I knew he was the one for me. When you meet the right person, you won’t have any of the hang ups or feelings you expressed about your Fiance. The feelings you have right now towards your Fiance are NOT the right feelings you should have about the person you’re going to marry. You deserve better, he deserves better.
I’m guessing you’re 30 based on the 81 in your user name – it can be a bit scary to enter the single world at 30 (I met my DH just before I turned 30); however, do you want to be 30, single, and likely to meet the man of your dreams who makes you happier than you ever thought possible? Or do you want to be 30, married to a guy you sometimes like but certainly don’t love, and go through life with a sense of malcontentment and disappointment?
To be honest, I don’t think any counselling in the world is going to fix this relationship. You can’t MAKE yourself fall in love with someone. When you meet the right person, you don’t have to try to have feelings for him, they will be a constant that is always present in your relationship, even when one of you is upset with the other. Making relationships work does take effort, but that comes from other aspects such as communicating effectively with each other, learning to compromise, and working together in partnership – the effort should not come from forcing yourself to love him.
For your sake and his, please call off this engagement. There is someone else out there for you and for him. Best of luck to you.