(Closed) Not “Kid”-ding around…(fairly long)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t have any words of wisdom for you.  You are just going to have to be firm (but polite of course!) in your “no kids” stance and accept that some guests may not come because of it. 

Post # 4
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s cool for your grandmother to want you to tell your friends they can’t bring their kids to the shower. I feel that since she’s hosting and she chose the adult nature of the shower, she should be putting something about it on the invitations and talking to people about it when they RSVP to her.

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

haha i love that photo. No advice…. but great photo πŸ™‚ 

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You know we just did my lingerie shower and none of my girlfriends with babies/toddlers even asked to bring them.  They knew from the title on the invite “lingerie Shower” that it was an adult party.  Now we also don’t have any young enough to be nursing but if there was an infant I’m sure that wouldn’t have mattered because they nurse, poop and sleep so that wouldn’t have been bothersome. But yes a two year old running around not much fun.

I think if you just put Lingerie Shower on the invites that is enough.  The wedding is a different story.  My girlfriend did no kids and only got grief from her side of the family from an aunt who wanted to bring the grandkids.  The only kids allowed were the two flowergirls which were neices.  So just stick to your guns and don’t let one person bring theirs and not another. 

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I love kids too, but I also think that adults need their time away from them sometimes. You have done good offerring a sitter and other options for the wedding. For the shower, maybe you could put something on the invites like: This is an adults only lingerie shower with alchohol being served. Thank you in advance for your understanding. Sorry, that is the best I can come up with right now. You would think common sense would dictate no children at the shower, but unfortunately some people just don’t get it, unless you spell it out for them. They should already know that kids should not be included at the shower.

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you should call your shower guests and tell them not to bring children.  I do agree that they should be allowed to come but if your grandmother is only interested in throwing the shower at her house with that theme and not another venue with a kid friendly theme, then she as the host should let everyone know.  The point of a shower (I keep telling my friends and family this but its not getting through to them) is to throw a party for the bride, so she doesn’t have to do anything but attend. 

The wedding part I totally get.  We’re not having children.  For two reasons.  The first of which is that my Mother said no because she doesn’t want to pay for them and 2. Because we want our guests to just be able to relax and enjoy themselves without having to run around chasing a child.  Its hard for some of them to make arrangements but you can’t accommodate everyone. 

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

I have an idea…make a pleasant call saying something like “Oh how nice it will be for you to get away from the kids for a day and have a drink.  Some of my girlfriends have been raving about the racy lingerie they’ve already picked out.”  I think that makes it pretty clear that kids aren’t welcome without being too much.

I also think that some of these parents will understand without having to be told.  Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I personally think it would be rude of your guests to bring their children to a bridal shower, especially a lingerie bridal shower.  It’s an adult party, end of story. 

Post # 12
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

i like heather’s response – play up the booze and crotchless panties and anyone with half a brain would realize that it’s not the best place for kids! You’re not the bad guy here πŸ™‚

HAVE FUN – sounds like a neat mornin’

Post # 13
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

haha i love that email!

wow, this has really got me thinking about when i go to send out our invites. I would like to think that no one i invite would even question the adult only reception…but now I’m starting to think that everyone experiences it, yikes!

Post # 14
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

HILARIOUS!  I LOVE your FI’s email, Daisie.  

We’re doing the same thing (having a child-free wedding) and *touch wood* haven’t had too many issues with explaining this to people.  My sister is also getting married this year and has had nothing but problems.

What I’m confused about is why parents think that their kids belong everywhere. I wasn’t invited to a wedding until I was 17…I always thought that was normal.  My parents did stuff without me.  

It wasn’t until I started planning a wedding that people started saying stuff to me…”I don’t go anywhere without little Johnny.  He should be welcome wherever I go”.  “Don’t worry about ordering Lisa food.  She can just sit on my lap and eat off my plate”

Umm…I’m having a cocktail party, without seating for everyone, that will be heavy on the open bar and dancing.  It starts at 8pm.  I REALLY hope Lisa and Johnny won’t be there…as I didn’t invite them.  

πŸ˜€

Post # 16
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@daisie… that’s definitely an option!  πŸ˜€  Thanks.

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