(Closed) Not looking forward to choosing BMs. Advice, please?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) numbers are NOT equal…. There’s really NO reason it absolutely needs to be equal unless you and your fiance want it that way (and I’m assuming your dad isn’t your fiance).

If you want “Michelle” and “Sarah” to be bridesmaids ask them to be bridesmaid… I’m hoping since they’re both adults, they can put their drama aside for YOUR special day…
Maybe talk to them each about it… say something like “I love you both, and I want you both to be bridesmaids, but I don’t want it to be a problem”… I’m thinking they’ll both say they’ll put it aside, and will, but if they say it’s not possible, or seem hesitant.. then you have your answer…

About your cousin… I REALLY , truly believe that your bridal party should be people you couldnt imagine standing up to get married without.. not someone you “don’t hate” just to get numbers.

I would honestly caution against putting someone in your wedding party that you ABSOLUTELY don’t need, just for number… These boards are filled with posts of people who did just that, and are heart broken over stuff people did/ didn’t do…. I’d just save myself the heartache.

If I were you (and what I did), is just you and your fiance each have whomever you want, and if it’s not even, then so be it. Realistically, why does it need to be even anyways?

Hope that helps.

Stay strong.

Post # 4
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You do not have to match at all.  Honestly, I would wait a while.  Your wedding is really far off and a lot of things can happen in 2 years.  You could wait until 9 months before your wedding to choose.

ETA:  I only had one BM/MOH, my sister, and it was probably the best decision I made.  Zero drama.  Hubs started out with 3 Groomsmen and as time got closer he stuck with one also. 

Post # 6
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would wait to choose until about 9 months ahead of time – when you start looking for dresses!  However, I think if those 2 girls are who you envision as BMs, then you should ask both.  They should be able to put their differences aside for 1 day for you.

Post # 7
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, sounds like you have a tough decision. I don’t have any advice to offer besides just saying you need to go with those you feel should be standing up there with you. Good luck.

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