- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
I need help/guidance/positive reinforcement/someone to tell me that everything is going to be ok.
So much sh*t has been happening in my life lately that I’m having a very hard time even looking forward to my wedding anymore. I’ll try to keep it short, but here’s some background:
FI and I are having a DW next Spring. My parents are paying for the entire wedding and FI and I are covering our travel costs, attire, rings, and honeymoon. FI’s work has slowed down and he has gone from working full-time to part-time and it’s tough making ends meet lately. Right now we’re living paycheck to paycheck and trying to save as much as we can, but it’s still tough.
About 3 weeks ago, my younger sister got arrested and is being charged with a very serious crime. She has since been released on bond but now the attorneys want $20k to fight her case. She doesn’t have enough money to pay them and has asked my parents for help. Well my parents were already tight on cash because of the wedding and the legal fees need to be paid by January and my wedding is in April. I feel horrible because my parents are now in an extremely difficult position. My parents aren’t wealthy, but they were comfortable enough to pay for the wedding. With the added expense of her legal fees, it just seems impossible now.
My sister is also really upset because there is a 90% chance she won’t be able to attend the wedding because she will either be on trial or on probation. She told me she feels like she ruined my wedding. I keep telling her that everything will be ok and that we just need to stay positive. I know she feels terrible though. And the thought of getting married without my sister being there just breaks my heart.
In addition to all of the above, my engagement ring and proposal were less than spectacular (after I waited many years). The only way I was able to get over that disappointment was by looking forward to and planning my wedding, and now that has been overshadowed by my sister’s legal drama and money issues. I also feel a bit resentful towards my FI because he doesn’t have $$ to help pay for the wedding, and it’s kind of like, why even get married if you can’t afford to pay for your wedding, you know?
I just feel like my engagement/wedding has been doomed from the start and I am just completely devastated. Every time someone asks me about the wedding or the planning, I feel a big pit in my stomach. Like I can’t even be happy about my wedding anymore because of all this sh*t going on. Oh yea, the icing on the cake is that my parents just finalized their DIVORCE after 30 years of marriage!!! 🙁 🙁 🙁
We already sent STDs and have spent about $8K in deposits. I thought about postponing the wedding but FI doesn’t want to and a lot of our guests have already started making travel arrangements.
I don’t know what to do. I am so lost and all I want to do is cry 🙁