Not loving my ring

posted 2 weeks ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

If I were you, I would get a killer eternity diamond band. Like 2,3 or 4 carats! If you can take what was saved on the engagement ring, and get a super blingy band, it would be the best of both worlds!

Post # 3
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

My ring is .50 and when we choose it I thought it was the perfect size. When I got back to work I noticed that I had the smallest diamond out of the work social circle. For a moment I feel bad then I got over it. My husband planned this amazing proposal and wanted me to choose a ring in the city where we got engaged in. These are the things that are truly important not the size of a diamond. 

My dear friend who has a 1.5 caret very high quality diamond looked at my ring and said it’s so you; elegant and very vintage. Another coworker said that it was classy and it was the perfect size. 

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. 

Post # 4
Member
3726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You could easily add a killer wedding band or even get an enhancer band that fits around either side of it (making it more like a halo) if you want more bling.

Post # 5
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I agree with the poster who said to get a really blinged-out wedding band! Best of both worlds 🙂

I also agree in trying to focus on the important stuff too, like how much you love your fiancé and how special it is that he gave you an heirloom ring! But I do understand feeling disappointed that it’s not what you envisioned. That’s why I think going big with the band will be a great compromise! 

Good luck and congrats on the engagement!

Post # 6
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

weddingbee0711 :  It’s ok to be disappointed. Everyone has their own taste and it’s ok that this ring isn’t yours. I’m against heirloom rings unless it’s been discussed and mutually agreed on. They become a chore to “love and cherish” because they mean more to the family. 

2ct+ band? Eh maybe but I personally think too big and extravagant won’t conpliment the ring. 

I’d ask to reset it with a halo. 

Post # 7
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

I’m concerned about your willingness to let his family’s possible feelings be more important than your own happiness.

Post # 10
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

If it were me I’d tell Fiance I absolutely loved the ring but would also love a bit more sparkle and would like to add a halo to the ring to compliment the centre stone. Frame it in a positive way rather than I don’t like the ring 🙂

Post # 11
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Personally, I like small and dainty as well as substantial and bling-ish, but it’s you who have to wear it. And no one ever said you could only have one ring.

Anyway, my point isn’t the ring so much as your willingness to give up what you want for yourself and substitute what you think others want. Would you have a baby you weren’t ready for because they were simply dying to be grandparents? I picked an extreme example on purpose to illustrate the point: You have to take care of your own needs and happiness. Not be unkind to others, but you can’t keep setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

My mother hated my jewelry; she thought it was too much. My mother-in-law didn’t like my jewelry, either; she thought it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry I didn’t please them, but it also really wasn’t their business.

Post # 12
Member
6244 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Most people don’t think about their rings at all once they have been married for a year. And everyone else? They think about it even less. Indeed, most other people think about your ring for exactly the amount of time they must – when they congratulate you on your engagement – and then never again. I understand how big a deal it is right now, but I absolutely promise you that no one else cares. At all. They probably won’t remember your ring an hour after they see it, let alone think about it later. 

So I wouldn’t hurt his family by saying anything. Get a blingy band and wear it alone most days. Again, it is likely no one else will even notice if you do that. In this case, it just isn’t a hill worth dying on, IMO.

Post # 13
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

I agree that it’s ok to be disappointed. I think that you should definitely talk to your fiance about your feelings and let him know that the ring isn’t exactly what your envisioned. 

Post # 15
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

Sure a massive eternity band would be an acceptable solution. You could also reset it in a halo or a cluster. But maybe it’s better to be straightforward and tell him you don’t like it. When you pick something for another person to wear everyday without giving them a choice, there is always a chance they won’t love it. That’s ok, it can be easily corrected and there is no point in getting offended. You’re marrying the guy, not the ring. The family will get over it eventually. 

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