Not loving my ring

posted 4 days ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2020

secondtimer18 :  I’m from the UK too and get comments on my ring all the time as no one is used to seeing a bigger ring like mine, I think it’s normal because I spend so much time on here looking at all these big rings that seem to be popular in the USA! 

Post # 32
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

I agree with others, get a ring enhancer or flashy wedding band to spice it up and make it more your style if it’s important to you to keep wearing this specific ring. 
For what it’s worth, I thin it’s a beautiful ring!

Post # 33
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

Another option that might not be so off putting to your fiance is to see if he would be open to a 3 stone e-ring using the heirloom diamond as a side stone.  

Post # 36
Member
2930 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My ex fiance gave me one of his grandmother’s rings as an engagement ring.  We didn’t talk about it ahead of time and I too wasn’t crazy about it, so I understand how you feel.

I told him my concerns and at first he took it like I was rejecting him.  It was a really big issue but in the end he did get me my own ring.  We eventually broke up for other reasons, but I felt it was important to tell him about his grandmother’s ring and his reaction really made me think about our relationship.

I feel you have to tell him your feelings.  It does no good to keep them bottled up because one day they’re going to come flying out, probably in the heat of an argument.  I would not necessarily bring up the size thing, but instead say you had a different style in mind.

Post # 37
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

I had the same problem as you but in the opposite direction. I did not feel comfortable wearing my ring all the time because it was so big and blingy. I talked to my husband and he was fine with me picking out a backup ring, which I bought from China right after the wedding and now wear every day. You do what makes you guys comfortable and happy! 

Post # 38
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Honestly, heirlooms are special and all, but some styles from the past have been…interesting to say the least. I don’t think this suits your hand, it does look too small, I wouldn’t really care for this style either. That’s completely okay, I don’t think you should have to settle on this at all. 

Post # 39
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2021

I would add a halo before I got a big blingy band. I think extra stones would compliment the ring, but a giant 2 carat wedding band may look out of place with the stone.

Post # 39
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2021

I would add a halo before I got a big blingy band. I think extra stones would compliment the ring, but a giant 2 carat wedding band may look out of place with the stone.

Post # 41
Member
3486 posts
Sugar bee

I find it very interesting that if a woman is unhappy with her engagement ring she must be materialistic, but if a man buys a nicer car or game system, well, that’s just boys being boys. No one attaches an unpleasant adjective to describe it.

I have seen this attitude here and IRL. It’s time for it to go.

Post # 42
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

sunburn :  Personally, I think there is a big difference between someone purchasing something expensive for themselves and someone essentially demanding someone else to purchase something expensive for them. They’re both materialistic but it’s one thing to spend your own money and something quite different to spend someone else’s.

Post # 43
Member
3486 posts
Sugar bee

needmorewine :  these days it seems pretty likely that the couple is living together and sharing the costs of everything including  the ring. And I rarely see women actually”demanding” better rings. But whatever.

Post # 44
Member
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

I think its perfect for your finger. And what a special meaning. I agree with PP. Get a rocking wedding band. The more sparkle, the better. Congrats on getting engaged

Post # 45
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee

Did you have a vision in mind of your dream ring?  Knowing this might make it easier to make suggestions – having an idea of how different this ring is from what you were hoping for or would have picked out.

I don’t know how your fiance would feel about this, but what if you proposed that the heirloom ring should go into safe storage to be used again the next time someone in the family proposes, and the 2 of you go pick out a ring?  Save the heirloom to be used as a stand-in during proposals by many people in the family.

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