(Closed) Not many friends and family for the wedding :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Rockfield Manor - Bel Air, MD

It isn’t exactly the same for me, but it is similar. My Fiance has a HUGE family. She is one of six sisters, plus three step-sisters. Her mother has six siblings, and each of them have at least two kids each. Her father has two siblings, each with up to four children. My family? It’s always just been the four of us: my mom, my dad, my brother, and me.<br />

Our families have never convened all at once, so I don’t think her family realizes just how small my family is compared to hers. With our current guest list of 80 people, over 60 of those people are “her” guests. It is tough. I am lucky that my small family will be able to attend, however. I am sorry that some of your family may not have that ability. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 3
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee

I get to invite 40 people and i can tell you i am having a hard time filling the spots. Sure i could invite family members and old friends that i dont care about but that would just mean i have to deal with a bunch of people i don’t really know. So i say as long as your good friends come and family who cares for you than thats all you need. You dont need a big group like your DH. Plus big families tend to have more drama. Dont be upset about it embrace it.

Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
Newlymarriednyc2014:  I’m going through the same thing. I’m from abroad too so only my parents and respective spouses will be there.  For that reason we decided on a family only wedding. He’ll still have 3 times more guests than me but I think a good way to see it is that they’re becoming my family too so everyone is there for the both of us. We might have a friends get together before or after and that does bum me out a little more since it’ll be just his friends, I’d never make mine travel for that.

Post # 5
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee

My husband and I only had 38 guests. We know a lot of people, but we only wanted people that we truly love there and are actively involved in our lives……it was hard to fill up all those spots but it was so worth it! You’re not alone!

Post # 7
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Aw! You have my sympathy but one thing loads of people will tell you, is that they didn’t have time to talk to everyone at their wedding and they regret it. Hopefully, with your smaller numbers, you may get the chance to share some of your special day with the people you care about who do make it. 

As the bride, you will be the centre of attention for most people, even those on the Groom’s side. People get so soppy over a bride!

Post # 8
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well, we are having probably a grand total of 20 people to our wedding, and of that, I will have probably 6 people that are close friends of mine coming down to Texas from Canada. I am an only child, my dad is deceased, and my mom is not a part of my life. The remainder are our friends and his mom, all in Texas. I have to say one thing, the best part about smaller weddings is you get to spend more time conversing and visiting with people that you care about. And that is what makes a wedding memorable ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
9276 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Newlymarriednyc2014:  It is not a competition with sides, it is a wedding, a celebratory event. Ideally the people who you are inviting support both of you and are there to celebrate with the both of you. So the first step is to stop this sides nonsense.

Post # 10
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Ceremony and Reception: Historic mansion on the water

View original reply
vanessa1359:  My story is about the same.  Both myself and my Fiance get 30 invites or 60 guests each.  I also am having a very difficult time with my list while my Fiance could probably  I have a few select friends and family members that may total 40 or so and that is being generous.  The rest would be from friends and family that I’ve been out of touch with for years.  I agree on not worrying about your numbers but just enjoying the day with those that matter to you the most. 

Post # 11
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

You’re definitely not the only one in this situation. I have maybe like 8 “close” friends to invite. And some of them live across the country so they might not even be able to come. I’m not even having a maid of honor (since I don’t have a best friend at the moment) or bridesmaids (since I don’t want to burden my friends with bridesmaid stuff when they will already have to spend money to go to my wedding). It does make me a little sad, especially when I see people with 3 or 4 “best friends” going wedding dress shopping and all that. I did my wedding dress shopping online and I only asked for my friends’ input a couple of times.

My fiance has more friends than me but he said he doesn’t even want to invite any of his friends for some reason. Or if he does, only a select few. He’s weird and isolationist sometimes though.

And my family situation is just…awkward. I don’t talk to my dad anymore so he’s not coming, nor his side of the family. My mom cut off relations with her side of the family for many years, so now I feel like I barely know my aunt and uncle and cousins.

To make matters worse, my fiance’s mom is insane and wants to invite like dozens of her relatives who we barely even know or have never even met, because “that’s how it’s done in her culture” and she literally threatened to disown my fiance if he didn’t comply. So we have to somehow convince her to not be completely crazy and respect our wishes.

Honestly this is why I would rather elope, which is still a possibility on the table. I feel like I will just end my wedding day feeling sad and inadequate, and like I wasted a bunch of money on nothing, and like everyone is laughing at me and my thin inadequate life behind my back. Who wants all this drama and stress? 

Post # 12
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m in the same situation, but my Fiance is as well so we’ll just be doing an elopement and possibly a small get together to celebrate after the fact. 

I always envisioned a larger wedding but it just doesn’t make sense to do that when even inviting everyone I know would maybe get the guest list to like, 50 people. And its not like all of them would come lol.

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Newlymarriednyc2014:  sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat! I’m an only child with a single parent while my FI’s parents each has 9 siblings and multiple aunts/uncles/cousins. To make things worse, my Fiance is also ridiculously social and has tons more friends than me. But tbh, I don’t mind at all. I feel fortunate to be marrying into a big family (who sees me as family). Everyone’s situation is unique. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

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