Post # 1
This is what I have feared about having a bridal shower. Hardly no one coming. Is it that people have plans already, or is bridal showers going by the wayside, or Im not liked enough to have people come???
It sucks. I cant beleive a lot of my family and friends arent coming. Its embarassing. I even heard that its so bad that my Maid/Matron of Honor might invite some guys to fill the void. sigh. My fiance told me that its no big deal. I told him it is. Its like inviting people to a birthday party and only a few show up. I feel so unliked. I just want to cancel the whole thing to save myself the embarassment, but I cant because my Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting it.
And now Im afraid that what if this happens with the wedding???? I invite all these people but hardly anyone shows up?????
Maybe Im wallowing in self pity, but it sucks finding out that hardly anyone is coming. SIGH……..
Bees, help me think of the bright side of this situation. I know in the end I am marrying my Fiance and that is the outcome Im looking forward to, but I would have liked a decent sized party. sigh ANy words of wisdom??
Thanks bees, for listening to me and allowing me to wallow.
Post # 3
I wish I had advice, but this totally happend to me and it sucks. Well, mine wasn’t that NO one came, it was just a bunch of my grandma and DH’s grandma’s friends and the 20 or so people who I am close to couldn’t be bothered. I hope it turns out better than you exspect!
Post # 4
Aww man I’m sorry girl, I understand you feeling bummed out! No one wants to feel that way! Maybe more will turn up than you think… And just remember that the ones who DO show are your there to support you so keep that close to your heart 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t know. I wanted a small shower, so it was really nice for me–12 people.
Post # 6
I probably can’t even have a bridal shower, or it will only be about 5 people, and I probably won’t have more than 20 people at the wedding. I’m older, drifted away from a lot of friends, etc, and so the wedding I’d imagined in my 20’s is totally out of the question.
But the bottom line is this. Your happiness is not built upon these parties and your wedding memories will still be good whether you have 5 people or 20 people.
You will have a better time with the people who are able to make it, because it will be more intimate.
The biggest thing I learned in life is that if you have expectations of things, you will always be hurt and disappointed. But if you learn to get rid of expectations, you will appreciate so much more the things that come into your life. If your expectation is for 50 people, then you will be hurt and disappointed. If you can make yourself ok with it if only 1 person shows up, you’ll be thrilled when it turns out to be 2 people.
You see the expectations I do NOT have of my future wedding and bridal shower. So just think of how happy and surprised I would be if I get more than I’m saying. Like I expected that my parents wouldn’t be able to contribute to my wedding. Today, my mom threw out a number that she said she could do and she did it without me asking. I was thrilled at the amount. Why? Because I thought it’d be zero.
I know this is not an easy thing to do, but try it. Just meditate on your own inner happiness which happens without anything else. Nothing is required for you to live and be happy, so everything else is just a bonus.
Post # 7
I’m really sorry to hear that not many of your friends are coming to your bridal shower. It’s really tough when you put all that effort into planning and it feels like no one appreciates it.
Having said that, I’m not sure about your friends, but I tend to feel that bridal showers are a bit old fashioned (not saying there’s anything wrong with having one!), so perhaps it’s not so much a matter of them not liking you, but them not liking the idea of a bridal shower? Don’t worry about the wedding – I’m sure people will come to help you celebrate that, there are just loads of people out there who don’t appreciate the significance of bridal showers!
Post # 8
Are you totally positive they aren’t coming, or did they just not RSVP? If it’s just that you haven’t heard from anyone, they still may be planning to come. I’m having a lot of trouble getting people to RSVP for anything lately.
Post # 9
I am totally in the same situation. About 40 people were invited and only 11 are coming. I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to just cancel and she won’t. I am just embarassed and would rather save myself the embarassment. I even offered to pay for her deposit she will lose. It is a 30 person minimum so the girls will be paying for all the extra people even though they are not there. I told them I didnt want one to begin with to avoid this. I know how you feel, it totally sucks.
Post # 10
I don’t get what is embarssing about having the friends and family who can make it to come celebrate with you.I been to some intimate small showers and they are best because everyone has time to talk and interact more closely with a smaller guest list.
I guess if you wanted more people there I can see why it sucks or if people are missing the shower for stupid things I can see how your feelings are hurt.
However if you aren’t going to appreciate the people who show up and focus on what the shower really is about spending good quality time with the ladies close to you at an exciting time in your life, perhaps you should cancel it.
Post # 11
I’m having a small shower of 12 people this weekend. I’m looking forward to it because I can spend more time with the people I care about the most. It shouldn’t matter how many people are there…just as long as the most important people are there. It’ll be ok! 🙂
Post # 12
I’ve said this a hundred times on here but I’ll say it again – I think bridal showers have begun to fall out of favor, and I personally thing thats a GREAT thing. It seems like expectations very rarely are met, and its usually an icky combination of awkward gift-grabbyness and hurt feelings.
So I really wouldn’t worry about the same thing happening with your wedding, I’m sure it will end up being the exact opposite.
Post # 13
My Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing me a bridal shower as well and guess who will be attending it? Me and her. I do not have any real friends – in fact my Maid/Matron of Honor is my fiance’s best friend’s wife so I barely know her in the first place. However she is going to take me on a small road trip to “wine country.” I live in Washington State so she will be driving me down to Portland, Oregon for some wine tasting and some hotel spa time (I think.)
I would suggest something similar for you. Instead of staying at a house to have a party (if that is what you are doing, I am not sure!) then move it to a destination. Like two girls out on the town (Or more depending on how many are coming.) Not only will you “two” be busy but no one else will be wiser. You can go to a Burlesque show, which is super fun, you can go wine tasting if you like that kind of thing, a spa day, a haunted tour (I wanted to do this), go to the zoo/aquarium, spend sometime at the movies…Here is a website that might get you thinking:
– http://offbeatbride.com/2010/04/bachelorette-party-ideas(These are some “off beat” bachelorette shower ideas)
In the end you’ll end up having fun with the people who did come but it is only normal to question these things because it hurts when you get left alone…more so then you ever thought. In any case make your bachelorette fun, YOU – MAKE – IT – FUN. The day is about you, celebrate it and don’t let those fears gnaw at the back of your mind. You have every reason to celebrate. ^_^
Post # 13
Do a weekend trip somewhere with a few gals instead of a shower!
Post # 14
I’m sorry, you have every right to feel disappointed and let down. A smaller group may be a better time than you are expecting. And the co-ed shower idea might turn into a really fun, but different kind of shower and you might have a lot of fun.
Has the rsvp deadline passed? You may find a few people will show up last minute. I’ve hosted a few showers and have seen a handle of people who did not rsvp show up on the day of the shower. So there’s also that.
You’re not alone, this is one of my fears too 🙁
Opps – just saw that this thread is old!
Post # 15
I’m in the exact same situation. I know this post is old, but I tried to talk to my fiance about it and he thinks I’m being silly. I’m fully aware that I’m just having a pity party, but after all the wedding stuff, pretty much by myself, I was really hoping that this would be a nice break from it all. I invited about 20 people and only 5 are showing up. I didn’t really want a shower in the first place, but I attended my cousin’s last month and it was so nice that our family was there and we don’t get together very often so I decided I’d like to have one just for that purpose alone. But, none of them are coming. My only family member that will be there is my mom. I know everyone else is just busy doing other things, but I just feel awful about it. I just want to cancel it so badly.