Post # 1
There are so many posts like this and I have read them all, but for some reason I am still unsettled. Like I said in my previous posts, I have never really had many friends, only a few close friends. I invited 61 ladies to my bridal shower and only 26 will be attending (not including myself).
I am so thankful for the people attending because they are there to support me/my fiance and it means so much that those 26 people will be there. What hurts me, and it’s a pain deep inside, like a rejection pain that just gets to you. It’s not anger, it’s not sadness, it’s like pure rejection without emotion. It’s almost like I’m in shock over it, so that’s why I decided to make this post.
So as I was saying, when I break 26 apart, I can clearly see that I have not many “friends” and that’s what bothers me the most.
My Family: 9
Mother’s Friends: 3
Family Friends: 4 — ie. people & their adult children (my age) my parents are friends with, we go to their functions, but don’t interact outside of that.
Fiance’s Family: 5
People who rejected:
My Family: 3
Mother’s Friends: 6
Family Friends: 3
Fiance’s Family: 1
Past Co-Workers: 6 –they plan on coming to the wedding.
Friends: 13 —this is a high number & it stings.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the people coming, I guess I am focusing on the rejection. What did you do & how did you get over it?
Post # 2
Honestly I think 26 is normal for a bridal shower and even on the high side and 61 is outrageous. You are bound to have a lot of declines when you invite so many people who obviously aren’t that close to you.
Post # 3
I have to agree with PP. 61 people is a huge net to cast so I wouldn’t be surprised with the decline rate. Showers tend to be for those closest to you. I didn’t even have 26 invites sent for mine.
Post # 4
I agree with the PPs, 61 is a lot for a bridal shower. A bridal shower is for the close women in your life. Most people don’t have 61 “close” women. Even when you factor in both families. I believe 26 is a good number.
Some people aren’t interested in the bridal shower games, etc. especially if they’re not close to you (i.e. people you don’t communicate with on a regular basis).
Try to let it go, this goes for any declines you may get for the wedding as well.
Post # 5
Your breakdown of the numbers seems perfectly normal. Your bridesmaids count as friends, so it looks like you have 3 friends coming. I’m assuming those are your BFFs. Every shower I’ve been to has been mostly family + parents’ friends/family friends. I agree with PPs that 61 is a very high number of people to invite, especially since you say yourself that you have a small tight circle of friends rather than a wide loose one. Showers are meant to be for your nearest and dearest. 26 is a perfectly respectable number. I don’t know the story behind the 13 friends who declined, but if you aren’t that great of friends with them, it shouldn’t be surprising. I don’t have 13 friends close enough to invite to a shower and it’s nbd. And I wouldn’t expect co-workers to come to a shower either. I think the way to get over it is to realize that it was unrealistic to expect that all or most of these 61 people would attend. I bet after the shower you’re going to be glad it was just these most special people and not a bunch of others that you aren’t really close to.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek
I think 26 is perfectly normal, and your breakdown looks about right (mostly family and family friends). I didn’t have a bridal shower for this reason; I don’t live near family, and if it were only friends (and maybe a couple family members/family friends), it would seem more like a bachlorette party than a shower. Are you having a bachlorette party as well? That’s when I would expect more of your friends to attend.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for your feedback! I guess I didn’t realize that 61 women was an outrageous number to invite. When I was inviting people to the wedding, I picked the people who were close to me & decided that every woman deserved to come to the shower. I completely understand why some women decided not to come. Now that I realize 26 ladies is good amount, I feel happy about that.
Post # 8
I would strongly encourage you to NOT view these declines to your bridal shower as rejection.
Honestly, that is a CHOICE you’re making, and not only isn’t it a healthy one, I don’t even believe it’s a valid one.
There are MANY reasons why someone would decline an invitation to a bridal shower. My list below is probably not even comprehensive, but, off the top of my head, here are some that have zero to do with you personally or any rejection of you. There are people who:
Have a conflict with the date/time of your shower
Just cannot afford to or don’t want to purchase both a shower gift and a wedding gift, so they’ll forgo coming to the shower
Have precious little free time due to family, work schedule, health/fitness/wellness activities, children’s activities, perhaps church activities and events, or other obligations and just can’t spare several hours to attend a bridal shower on one of their only days off
Just dislike bridal showers in general for any one of a number of reasons (too painful because they never had the opportunity to get married or have a shower, just find playing games and watching other people opening presents for several hours to be too boring to sit through, etc.)
Please do not take this so personally, and try to enjoy your special day with those who will be there.
Post # 9
Shower guests are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. You are not supposed to invite every woman invited to the wedding. I’m not surprised that so many women did not want to come and give you a second gift. Usually you have to be pretty close to the bride to accept a shower invitation.
Post # 10
I had like 8 people at mine and I didn’t feel bad.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2017 - backyard
I opened this thread honestly expecting to see that only 2-5 people were coming, and my jaw dropped when I saw 26 people are coming. That’s NOT a rejection at all!! Understanding how much obligations people have, especially on the weekend, that’s a HUGE number of people to come to your shower! I understand how it would sting to feel like they’re rejecting you, but focus on the ones who are coming and have fun!