Not Many People Coming To My Bridal Shower

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
977 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly I think 26 is normal for a bridal shower and even on the high side and 61 is outrageous. You are bound to have a lot of declines when you invite so many people who obviously aren’t that close to you.

Post # 3
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I have to agree with PP. 61 people is a huge net to cast so I wouldn’t be surprised with the decline rate. Showers tend to be for those closest to you. I didn’t even have 26 invites sent for mine.

Post # 4
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

LittleKisses_xo :  I agree with the PPs, 61 is a lot for a bridal shower. A bridal shower is for the close women in your life. Most people don’t have 61 “close” women. Even when you factor in both families. I believe 26 is a good number. 

Some people aren’t interested in the bridal shower games, etc. especially if they’re not close to you (i.e. people you don’t communicate with on a regular basis). 

Try to let it go, this goes for any declines you may get for the wedding as well. 

Post # 5
Member
6697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

LittleKisses_xo :  Your breakdown of the numbers seems perfectly normal. Your bridesmaids count as friends, so it looks like you have 3 friends coming. I’m assuming those are your BFFs. Every shower I’ve been to has been mostly family + parents’ friends/family friends. I agree with PPs that 61 is a very high number of people to invite, especially since you say yourself that you have a small tight circle of friends rather than a wide loose one. Showers are meant to be for your nearest and dearest. 26 is a perfectly respectable number. I don’t know the story behind the 13 friends who declined, but if you aren’t that great of friends with them, it shouldn’t be surprising. I don’t have 13 friends close enough to invite to a shower and it’s nbd. And I wouldn’t expect co-workers to come to a shower either. I think the way to get over it is to realize that it was unrealistic to expect that all or most of these 61 people would attend. I bet after the shower you’re going to be glad it was just these most special people and not a bunch of others that you aren’t really close to. 

Post # 6
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

I think 26 is perfectly normal, and your breakdown looks about right (mostly family and family friends). I didn’t have a bridal shower for this reason; I don’t live near family, and if it were only friends (and maybe a couple family members/family friends), it would seem more like a bachlorette party than a shower. Are you having a bachlorette party as well? That’s when I would expect more of your friends to attend.

Post # 8
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would strongly encourage you to NOT view these declines to your bridal shower as rejection.

Honestly, that is a CHOICE you’re making, and not only isn’t it a healthy one, I don’t even believe it’s a valid one.

There are MANY reasons why someone would decline an invitation to a bridal shower. My list below is probably not even comprehensive, but, off the top of my head, here are some that have zero to do with you personally or any rejection of you. There are people who:

Have a conflict with the date/time of your shower

Just cannot afford to or don’t want to purchase both a shower gift and a wedding gift, so they’ll forgo coming to the shower

Have precious little free time due to family, work schedule, health/fitness/wellness activities, children’s activities, perhaps church activities and events, or other obligations and just can’t spare several hours to attend a bridal shower on one of their only days off

Just dislike bridal showers in general for any one of a number of reasons (too painful because they never had the opportunity to get married or have a shower, just find playing games and watching other people opening presents for several hours to be too boring to sit through, etc.)

Please do not take this so personally, and try to enjoy your special day with those who will be there.

Post # 9
Member
45652 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Shower guests are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. You are not supposed to invite every woman invited to the wedding. I’m not surprised that so many women did not want to come and give you a second gift. Usually you have to be pretty close to the bride to accept a shower invitation.

 

Post # 10
Member
3020 posts
Sugar bee

I had like 8 people at mine and I didn’t feel bad. 

Post # 11
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - backyard

I opened this thread honestly expecting to see that only 2-5 people were coming, and my jaw dropped when I saw 26 people are coming. That’s NOT a rejection at all!! Understanding how much obligations people have, especially on the weekend, that’s a HUGE number of people to come to your shower!  I understand how it would sting to feel like they’re rejecting you, but focus on the ones who are coming and have fun!

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