(Closed) Not Marrying the Favorite Son?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
4677 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Future In-Laws are pretty good at appreciating the differences in their sons and not showing favoritism.  However, Fiance is by far the favorite grandchild (he has 1 younger brother and 4 younger female cousins), and now I’m favored for marrying him. She doesn’t hide it AT ALL and I can’t imagine how his brother must feel. Luckily, his parents see it and do their best to mitigate it.

In my experience (i.e. my sister and some other favorites I know), it generally doesn’t work out well for the favorite – they don’t learn how to work hard, value what is given to them, or become as independent. In a way, as much as it may hurt your Fiance to seen as less than his brother, it might have been a blessing in disguise. Look at how selfish your Future Brother-In-Law turned out!

Not always true, of course, but common.

Post # 18
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Fiance might be the ‘favorite’ child, as in the child they actually like and are proud of, but that definitely does not translate into more parental attention/affection in his family. His parents basically stopped paying attention to him at the begining of high school because he was the ‘good’ child and his sister was and is an utter trainwreck. They put all their time and effort into her trying to mitigate her life choices and deal with her mental health problems. They actually kicked Fiance out of the house on several occasions so they could have a talk with his sister. Fiance spent the last 2 years of highschool practically living at my house, and as a result he’s pretty close to my parents because they were there for him when his were not. His father has apologized for how they treated/ignored him during high school, and his mother is just now coming to the realization that while she had her back turned he grew up, and she doesn’t get another chance.

As far as who is the favorite child-in-law it is painfully obvious that it is not me. Oh well, I’m proud of being a reserach scientist, and Future Mother-In-Law is just going to have to deal with it.

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