Post # 1
For a variety of reasons fiance and I have decided to have an intimiate wedding. We’re having 15 guests, of which only 3 guests (my mom, dad and his wife) are from my family. I know its the right decision to have an intimiate wedding due to my social anxiety, divorced parents family drama, ect. But another reason was when i did my guest list i realized i was only inviting relatives because i felt i “had to”, not because of any close relationship. When I initially did my guest list i came to about 30 guests on my side of which the majority were from my dad and stepmom’s families as my mom has no family but me. When I realistically looked at the guest list I realized that maybe at most 10 would come. I have no close relationship with cousins, a nonexistent relationship with my stepsister, a cordial but very distant relationship with my stepmother, and i have aunts/uncles that favor the other cousins to an extreme. I knew even if i sent invites to the “must invite relatives” a lot of them wouldn’t come. Its just a really sad feeling to know that i don’t have a family that loves me. I went to all my cousins wedding, bought them wonderful gifts. I haven’t so much of gotten a congratulations on my engagement. I feel like nobody cares, so really what is the point of a wedding? I get sad going on Facebook and seeing friends who have lots of family at their wedding. I know i should focus on the positive. I have a wonderful fiance. I thought i’d never get married. I spent so many years very lonely, and now i will have a wonderful husband, and his family of his parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews are great, but its just not the same as having family of your own that have known you since birth. I’m just sad that my family doesn’t really care. Only family that really cares i’m getting married are my mom and dad.
Post # 3
Well, in my case, I invited maybe 20 people from my side of the family (that’s all I really have)….and only 5 are coming. This hurt me a lot. Like you said, I have been to everyone elses wedding, graduations, etc. and they don’t care to come to mine. Boo. Makes me sad on the inside. But, I have to keep remembering…I am getting Married!!!! To an awesome man, and even though its hard not to think about all my family who won’t be coming, I try to keep that my focus.
Post # 4
@Allie99: We seem to be in similar situations, lol, you just commented on my post as well. Of our 30 guests, only like 8 are from my side. My family kind of sucks, and none of us are really close.
But you know what that means? It means you are marrying into an awesome, close, loving family with your Fiance. You said that his family is great, and if they are, embrace it!
I consider FI’s family mine as well, and they welcomed me with open arms. I think it means even more when a family – who didn’t know you from birth and doesn’t really have to love you – chooses to accept and love you as their own. It’s a wonderful feeling, one that should make you happy, not sad!
Post # 5
@Allie99: when you get married you and your husband will become a family of your own. That’s what a marriage is. Each other becomes more important than relatives, even the ones you have known your whole life. All families are different. Just because you aren’t close with a lot of your family members doesn’t mean you are any less loved. It’s your special day. Enjoy it. It’s quality vs. quantity as far as attendance.
Post # 6
Well, my family is teeny, so we’re pretty close. My side will be Mom & Dad, 2 sets of Aunts & Uncles, and 2 sisters w/spouses. So 10 people from my side total. Fiance’s family is HUGE (compared to mine anyway, I still can’t keep track of all his relatives). BUT, there’s only 8 people that he wants to invite. Parents, 2 brothers w/spouse & SO, 1 aunt & her guest.
We have a list of ‘must invites’ from his side. They’re not invited. He doesn’t want them there, and I’m supporting his decision. You have a supportive fiance that makes you happy. That’s the important thing, not the number you have on your side.