(Closed) Not my fault but I still feel guilty…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m so sorry your family is dealing with this.  It’s so hard to love a person who is being self-destructive and damaging her life (and the lives of those who love her).

Be there for your uncle and your cousins.  Be there for your aunt as well if she reaches out to you.

Can she get therapy of some sort?  Can her medications be modified to curb her distructive behavior?  Perhaps you can find some resources for your aunt, your uncle and your cousins and pass them on?  I’m sure your uncle has his hands full, so if you can do some leg work for him- find a support group, a new doctor, a new treatment, something they can try that can give them hope for positive change that will be a help?

Keep in touch with her.  If she ever comes to her senses, she will need your love and support to get her life back together.

Good luck.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 4
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would sit down with this Aunt and tell her you love her but she has a sex addiction and that she is THROWING away everything precious in her life and that you don’t support her actions unless she gets help.

She may very well be depressed due to the physical condition but there is NO EXCUSE under the sun for doing anything like that.  Everybody has their own crosses to bear in life and she as an adult should have learned from her prior dalliance with the affairs.

It seriously sounds like an addiction.  She should seek professional help asap.  I will be saying a prayer for your family and uncle.  Bless him, he’s a better man than I am a woman..I would walk in an instant if my partner were unfaithful like my xh was. 

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

OK, I feel the need to point out that it isn’t MS doing this to her, it’s probably manic depression, bi-polar, something similar. I wouldn’t count those as side effects of MS. So, the first thing her family {you included} needs to do is stop letting her use that as an excuse. She has a horrible condition that makes her life horrible and hard to deal with, but to justify total disregard for others feelings and quality of life is not a side effect. It’s a whole separate issue and needs to be treated as such.  My mother was diagnosed 22 years ago this September, so please understand that I know what you and your family are going through. I’m so sorry that this is happening, but she’s got to be held accountable for her actions or she’s never going to change. I would support your uncle and cousins right now. They need it. Good Luck.

Post # 6
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I was going to say something similar to Kate, lest anyone misunderstand MS… Her actions have nothing to do with MS or MS medications, but probably something else going on with her.

Personally, I would recommend a solid psych evaluation to determine the underlying causes of her seemingly manic actions.

I wish you all the best of luck.  It must be really hard for you.

Post # 7
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

lots of hugs for you and your family!!

Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Lots of hugs to you and your family! Right now, the best you can do for her is to be there for her, your uncle and your cousins. Their world is collapsing as they know it, and being there for them is the only way you can help. Please don’t blame yourself and say tht you should have been there for her more…there’s only so much you can do. I think the other posters are right in that she has other underlying issues other than MS, and would greatly benefit from a psych evaluation.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Post # 9
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

🙁 that’s hard to go through. It sounds like you’re doing what you can to be there for your family, though. Often there’s only so much you can do to actually change a situation, so don’t feel guilty. Just let your aunt (and your uncle and the rest of your family) know that you’re there for them. I’m sure that means a lot.

You’ll be in my prayers!

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