Post # 1
I have seen posts from different Bees that say they never waited and didn’t understand what the “waiting” was about. With my first marriage, I didn’t have to wait. I wouldn’t have understood what it was about either, but now that the previous marriage failed and I have another chance at happiness, I am now in the waiting stage. I have now seen things from both points of view. Even though I’m in a waiting stage now and to be quite honest it’s driving me crazy lol, hence the name. The insecurity of waiting and wondering if or when it will ever happen is very difficult. Unless you have “waited” please don’t say things like, I don’t know what your rush is. Some of us have been in their relationship for years. There is no rush.
(line stolen from When Harry Met Sally) when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
This does not mean our relationship is any less meaningful just because we haven’t gotten to that step in our lives.
Post # 3
It certainly doesn’t make your relationship less meaningful, I just don’t understand why you would need to wait if both of you want to be married. If you’re on the same page about that, what’s to wait for?
Post # 4
Guys think differently then women. Guys usually aren’t ready to pop the questions till they are stable (work, home, etc) – where as women think that as soon as they found the ‘one’ that they want to get married ASAP.
I agree OP – I think that if you have never been in the situation then passing judgement on those women who are or those who have been seems a little presumptious.
Post # 5
looking over your previous threads i remember your story a little. he took the ring back. waiting is ok in certain situations, but if one wants to be married and the other person doesnt. it will not work, unless one of you sacrifices. he relents, or you accept that it may never happen.
Post # 6
We have had to wait because of our kids in school. We can’t move them nor would we. We are almost to the end of that issue now and logistically we can live together this summer. The part that i have so much difficulty is, we could be engaged. We have decided together that we want to be married (eventually). I guess a few months ago I was pressuring pretty hard for a ring and we had some serious issues over that, but we are now back on track and even stronger. I have told him that I would not move in with him until we were engaged, so now I’m not sure how long that will take. I have stopped bringing it up.He understands just can’t pick up my life and move without some type of commitment.