(Closed) Not 'officially' engaged, but planning?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
3288 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We were the same way! We had our venue and photographer booked before the ring, lol. In fact, my mom even had our engagement party invites ordered because we were only going to be home for like two weeks, and FI had promised her he would propose before then, haha.

FMIL said she and FFIL did the same thing back in the 80s, so it can’t be that crazy! 🙂

Post # 4
208 posts
Helper bee

No were not crazy. 🙂 My SO and i have frequently talked about what kind of wedding we want. Now we really want to get married at my parents barn once we fix it up so hopefully i wont really have to worry about reserving a venue which is a big money saver. But I love to plan ahead so I wont be nearly as stressed when the actually planning gets closer. 🙂

Post # 5
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Yep.  The date is set.  We already checked out one venue – didn’t like it or the wedding coordinator.  While I was making dinner tonight he left voicemails at our #2 and #3 venues to meet with them next week.  

We have a timeline, a budget, quite a bit decided, but not purchased.  We had a looong look at wedding websites the other night, but we hate all the premade templates.  So he’s going to check with a friend about making one for us. 

You aren’t alone.  I know my ring is coming (we’ve done a lot of ring shopping) but all I know is its before our trip to see his family next May.  

Post # 6
208 posts
Helper bee

I feel more relieved in knowing that I have a general idea of what I want my wedding to look like. I dont like waiting til the last minute on things so its gives me relief and less stress if its all planned out in advance. Not necessarily anything booked but just ideas for now until i can discuss them with my family once were officially engaged.

Post # 7
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

yup, me too. already started but it’s not official. but soon!

Post # 8
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Southern_Belle:  I didn’t officially book anything ahead of time, but when my fiance bought my ring (I knew because I helped choose) and asked my parents’ permission I did think a lot about what exactly I wanted. By the time it happened I had a very good idea of what I wanted. It made the planning easier. 

Post # 9
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FI asked for my parents permission over a month before he finally bought the ring, and I started planning then. I even had to tell a bunch of family members that I was getting engaged, because my Dad was so excited that he couldn’t keep it to himself. It was kind of awkward and embarassing to be calling my grandparents and aunt before there was even a ring on my finger, and of course none of them could keep the secret so my whole family knew before FI proposed, talk about pressure, lol.

Anyway, we had the date set, church booked, venue booked (and deposit paid) and had meetings set up with the photographer, caterer and DJ before I had a ring on my finger. I don’t think it’s that crazy, because FI and I knew we wanted a June wedding, and we didn’t have time to wait! If I’d planned that stuff without FI’s blessing then it would be crazy, lol.

Post # 10
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

FI and I had a date before we were “officially” engaged

Post # 11
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

FI and I are in a long distant relationship. Long story incredible short, both 28 years old, friends for awhile, met hit it off immediatly.  Went through some hard times (majorly attacked by my family) within the first month of dating.  (It was a family issue that had nothing to do with us, but we got the brunt of it).  This brought us closer & quickly.  We haven’t been dating that long, but we figure why wait. 

I wasn’t gonna look or plan till he told me.  Well he asked me one day, “What is stopping you?” after making sure he was for reals, I started planning! LOL  We have a date pick out and since he an only child (can’t keep secrets) I know he proposing when I go to see him this Thanksgiving! Smile  From starting to dating to wedding day, 7 months! (We were friends before this, but long distants friends. Plus he been my cousin-in-law’s best friend from childhood, we were set up.)  It’s crazy I know, but the last couple months have been tornado of craziness that only brought this on faster! 

Well that my story! LOL  Yes, I’m planning a wedding, before I’m engaged and it gonna be a short engagement!!!! (Oh my!!!)

🙂 Jacqui (Soon to be engaged)

Post # 12
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Southern_Belle:  We did that too.  We had been talking about getting married and it was actually my FI’s idea to start looking at venues.  We had the venue picked out before the engagement. LOL I had also been talking to different DJ’s, Photographers, ect researching and trying to find out prices.  We didn’t actually book anything until we got engaged though, about 6 months later.  I think planning then and now just helps get that list checked off and helps take the stress off 🙂

Post # 13
595 posts
Busy bee

Yes, hello! I haven’t proposed yet, but the planning is happening. I want to get as much of the basic ideas figured out before the proposal, so that we can work togethe to fine tune it, instead of scrambing and being confused with a deadline.

Post # 14
8759 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You aren’t crazy at all.  You don’t need a ring to be engaged, officially.  All you need is to agree to be married.  Congrats! 

Post # 15
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Nope you not crazy at all, my SO and I did the same thing. We had our venue, flowers, photographer, and my dresses picked out before I received my ring. I loved it that way because places in NYC book fast so that was the best way to do things for us. BTW, I’m such a conventional bride!

Post # 16
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Southern_Belle:  I consider us “unofficially engaged” since being engaged just means you have an agreement to marry each other, not that you have a ring. But we don’t want people harrassing us about when the wedding will be, so we won’t announce it/buy a ring until we’re ready to have a wedding in a year or less. (This plan was reinforced when I stupidly asked my cousin about her venue and she got CRAZY excited and basically started planning my wedding.)

But we’ve found the venue (but not booked because, again, we’re more than a year out and it’s not a popular place), decided on a theme, picked our bridal party (but haven’t officially asked them) and even started planning a menu with my caterer/cousin. Yeah… we’re very lucky to have 3 professional chefs & one professional baker in my family along with two officiants, a phenominal DJ and many many musicians. We’re also very lucky that everyone really loves us together & really wants to have a wedding (several funerals in the past 2 years + 4 cousins eloping has made everyone wedding-crazed). So, really, my family is planning way more than we are! Meanwhile, his family just wants me to get knocked up 😛

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