(Closed) Not on same baby timeline as DH?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My husband’s always been a little behind where I am. I wanted to move in earlier, get married earlier, buy a house sooner, get pregnant sooner. I’m only 15 months older so I don’t think it’s just that. Maybe it’s because I’m more secure in my career than he is. Who knows?

 

But it’s all worked out so far. Waiting for him was worth the wait. We’ve done everything but get pregnant so far and that’s in the works.

Post # 4
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

definitely agree that it’s kind of like waiting all over again to get engaged! and just like that, hubs absolutely needs to be fully on board before we start ttc. he’s ready to start trying next summer, which really isn’t too far away, and gradually he’s become more comfortable talking about it. we’ve started talking more about names recently, which is exciting 🙂 actually, that’s really similar to right before we got engaged too–at first he wasn’t into talking about it at all, but slowly he started being more comfortable and then he was bringing it up on his own–like a few months before we were engaged we went to a wedding and he started telling me what he liked about the flowers–that was a big sign 😛 and then he was ready…! so patience is really the key. hubs and i will be very egalitarian about parenting responsibilities, so i absolutely don’t want to start trying before he’s excited about it too

Post # 6
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MCC919: We waited two years until trying very recently. I got married at 29 as well. Waiting for kids was both of our decisions. I spoke with a high school friend whose been married for 6 years, has two kids, and another one on the way. She said to me, once you have kids, you can’t go back (as in the quiet days of just the two of us). I thought that it was interesting to hear her perspective as I’ve seen a lot of people get married and jump right into parenthood soon after. I’m glad that we waited because we’ve had alot of fun in the past two years. We wouldn’t have had those experiences if I was pregnant right away. Just keep that in mind as you’re eager for kids while he isn’t. I tend to be on the mindset of what’s the rush. You just got married. Relax and enjoy married life before kids become your main focus.

Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@MCC919: It’s so hard! My husband is 35 and I’m about to turn 30, yet I’ve been ready for kids since the second we got home from our honeymoon two years ago and he’s just now ready to start trying. And by ready I mean “knows it’s the right time but scared out of his mind.” I wish SO MUCH that he had the excitement for a baby that I do. I know he’ll love our child when it comes, but I wish that he was less terrified & more looking forward to it.

As for advice? Enjoy being newlyweds first. Appreciate each stage before you move on to the next one. At the same time, talk to your Darling Husband about how much harder fertility/pregnancy can be as a woman goes through her 30s and try to figure out what his hang-ups are.

Post # 8
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@BrianneG:  I could have written this exact post!  I was always ready for EVERYTHING before him, and I’m about a year and a half older than him!  I have crazy baby fever but I also know now is not the time.  I would LOVE to start trying when I’m 24/25, but when I mentioned this plan to Darling Husband he said I am NOT going to be a father when I’m 24!  This makes me sad.  I don’t want to be in my late 20’s/early 30’s when I have kids.  I want to be a young mom so I’m not ancient when I finally get grandkids… 🙁

Post # 9
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ugh.  I definitely know your pain.  I’m 28 now and starting to feel the itch.  I have things I want to work on myself before starting but I have always wanted to have my first one when I was 30 (meaning being preggo at 29 which is this time next year gah). 

My husband HATES talking about it for similar reasons to yours (life style & money etc).  It doesn’t help that I am an advanced planner to the MAX and he is not,  so talking about somtehing I want to do in a year really frustrates him.  I just don’t think he gets it…. I feel the need to be done at 35 and we both agree we want more than one child.  It isn’t magic and we’re probably not going to get pregnant the first time we try so lets give ourselves a little wiggle room.

Hopefully something clicks with us this time next year.

 

Post # 9
Member
14402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh yeaaah.  Hubby is a few years younger than me and could stand to wait a 3-5 years.  I’m willing to wait about 1 and told him I want to be done by 35, so if he wants 2 or more, theres no more waiting.  I’d be dying to start now, but I do agree that we should enjoy ‘us’ a little more and do a bit more traveling.

Post # 11
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MCC919:

Hang in there, it will get better. I think it tends to get easier if you discuss a timeframe for going of BC (as opposed to timeframe for pregnancy) and then focus on fitness, finances etc. Keep trying to talk about timelines.

Post # 12
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’re the other way around! I want to put off kids for as long as possible.  Since I have PCOS I am scared of even trying and nervous that I won’t be able to make hubs a baby.

Post # 13
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Were not married yet. Our situation is opposite of yours. He wants children sooner than I do , but it’s not something that he can’t live with. He is 28 and I’m 23(almost 24) and I LOVE kids , I have 2 Nieces I watch regularly. I know how life changing children are and I am very mature for my age but I know my life will never be the same, so I would like to wait a few years after getting married (which is June 2012)

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