Post # 1
My older sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. We haven’t had a great relationship in recent years, but I asked her to be Maid/Matron of Honor out of family obligation. Recently things have gotten so bad that we are literally not on speaking terms (not related to wedding, just in general). She has told my family she doesn’t want a relationship with them. However, she’s also annoyed that I haven’t involved her in my wedding planning at all. My wedding is in less than two months. I don’t want this ruining my wedding day, and I certainly don’t want her giving a toast at the reception. Is there anything I can do to make this situation less horrendous? I’ve already cancelled my bridal shower over this and am dreading dealing with her on my wedding day.
Post # 2
IMO bridal party members should never be out of obligation. I don’t really see around demoting her from the bridal party if you can’t even speak to one another. Why is she ruining your wedding, forcing you to cancel your bridal shower? Cut the source of drama and do what makes you happy.
Post # 3
Remove her from the Maid/Matron of Honor position. As hard as that may feel or be to do, it’s the logical solution, and it will mean that you won’t have someone you don’t even talk to standing right next to you as you get married.
Do what’s best for you, your wedding, and your wedding photographs and video: take her out of the bridal party or at least have her trade places and titles with another bridesmaid.
Post # 4
I went through something VERY similar with my sister. She is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and has been being difficult since day 1. First, she’s not involved enough, then I’m asking too much of her, then I’m not making it about her enough. It was exhausting.
We got into it really bad a few months ago and did not speak for about 2 months. She immaturely “quit” the bridal party. I knew she would do something like that eventually, that’s how she is. I was ready to just say you know what, I’m done with her. Enough is enough. We go through this all the time and this time she’s gone too far with the things she said to me and did to me. I decided, though, after a while to call her and hash it out. It was affecting me and hurting me too much. Even things I deserved to have like a bridal shower, bachelorette party, and sharing moments with my family just didn’t feel like they would be the same without her involved. I was still angry, but I realized the fight wasn’t worth it. I called her and we fought on the phone for an hour and a half. I was in tears at the end of it, not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel, and then somehow, we heard each other and committed towards trying to make things better one step at a time. Sometimes sisters need that – to scream at each other, hash it out, and then make that effort to get back on track.
Think big picture. You’re stuck with her forever lol. It’s your sister. Also, this is a time you’ll never get back. Even if it’s her fault, I suggest calling her to tell her how you feel, listen to how she feels, both apologize, and together try to make it right. You deserve a bridal shower, don’t let this ruin it for you. Don’t cancel it. Try your best to get things back on track. A wedding is a day to share with loved ones, and if your sister isn’t there you might both regret it.