(Closed) Not one single friend of mine is coming to our couple's shower

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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starwarsfan2016 :  

Sounds like you have pretty selfish friends.  I would be upset too.

Think about it: You have to bring a gift to a shower (or you SHOULD), so that means them shelling out cash.

At a wedding, they’re getting a free meal and a free good time.  Why wouldn’t they come?

What about your friends in the bridal party?  Are they not coming either?

Post # 3
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I don’t see the point in a couples shower.

Is there any back story to this? Do your friends like your FI? Are you guys really young? Did you give them enough notice? Did you have an out of town bachelorette? 

Post # 4
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

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starwarsfan2016 :  I’ve learned to never expect anything in life. Life is filled with possibilities (good or bad). I suggest keeping your chin up and not think about these so called friends. Maybe this is a breaking point to let go of these people and find some better people to fill your life with that will treat you how they would like to be treated. On a positive note I’m glad you both have loved ones to throw you a party to celebrate.☺

Post # 5
Member
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Well your friends sound kind of shitty but honestly I’ve been to a few boring showers and its an optional event so I wouldn’t make it a priority. A wedding on the other hand I would prioritize. Plus its not really wise to think of things as tit for tat. Everyone gets their own choice. You chose to attend all their events, they chose not to attend your shower. Not sure about the free meal and good time mentioned above, one should still bring a wedding gift. Unless you have a bunch of cheap a** guests like we did, story for another time. 😎

Post # 7
Member
5040 posts
Bee Keeper

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starwarsfan2016 :  how much people are invited and how many are not coming? It sounds a bit odd if no one is coming. Did anything happen prior?

Post # 8
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

What is a couples shower? 

I wouldn’t go to a couples shower, either, honestly. I understand bachelorette and weddings, the historical point of bridal showers (that i think don’t apply anymore in my social circles), but I don’t understand engagement parties and couples showers so I wouldn’t go to those. Seems redundant with the wedding, why  celebrate someone’s choice to get married multiple times. 

Post # 10
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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starwarsfan2016 :  

Those are not the good kind of friends to have.  Geez!  I mean if I had kids and had a chance to take them somewhere to swim all their energy out while I had fun with my friends, I would jump on it.  Also, if my friend was getting married and I was broke – i’d just tell her hey I can’t do a gift right now but you know I’ll get you something as soon as I can.

I get the couples shower idea.  I never throw any parties or gatherings where SO’s and kids aren’t invited.  It’s old fashioned to have just a girls shower, and more people are doing the couple things these days.  It’s a way to let everybody be involved.  AND it SHOULD be a way to guarantee everyone can come because no one needs to look for childcare.

If I was you, I’d be re-thinking some things.  I’m not one to say ditch your friends over this but I would tell them your feelings are hurt next time you see them.  I would say you know this is a big deal for me, and it would be nice to have you involved in this exciting part of your life.  Of course not everyone would be able to come because…life.  But some people should have come.

Post # 11
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Are you having any more showers or is this the only one? If they have previously attended a shower I could understand that.

Post # 12
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Geez what a tough crowd on Weddingbee sometimes. Couples showers are perfectly normal where I’m from, and imo are way better than women-only showers because they tend to be more about having a fun party than opening up a bunch of boring wedding gifts. I had one, as did most of my friends…I would have been pretty depressed if no one showed up to mine. Sorry you’re dealing with this OP!

Post # 13
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I understand feeling bad about none of your friends coming to your party.

However, I myself do not like bridal or wedding showers (even if it’s couples). Shower to me means you have to bring a gift. If I am invited to the wedding, I will bring a gift or send a gift for that, but I don’t believe in an obligation to give multiple gifts, so I do not attend these types of parties. I have never been to a bridal/couples shower myself and I did not have one. I did have a bachelorette party which was super fun and no one had to bring a gift. 

Post # 14
Member
3664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It is a lot of work to watch children around a pool (I’m assuming you aren’t hiring a lifeguard). The parents can’t just go and have fun and kick back and not pay attention to their children in a pool. To them it may have been less daunting if it had been a regular party and not a pool party.

It sucks that they won’t be attending, but try not to hold it against them.

Post # 15
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

The point of a couples shower is to celebrate, duh!

I personally would rather go to a couples shower too. And yeah, your friends are being bummy bums. 🙁

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