Post # 1
Feeling pretty damn upset today. Our couple’s shower is this weekend, thrown by his family. I’ve been upset for the last week because all of my closest friends have either told me they can’t come (some had existing plans, some just don’t feel like it) or haven’t responded. I had ONE friend coming and she was bringing another friend with her. Today she told me she can’t come after all and since she isn’t coming, the other friend doesn’t want to come alone. I jsut feel so angry with my friends. I always show up for their events and it feels like I don’t matter to them. It makes me want to say F the wedding we have thrown down so much money for! Let’s elope. Of course we won’t do that, but that’s how I feel at the moment.
I just needed to vent…..
Post # 2
Sounds like you have pretty selfish friends. I would be upset too.
Think about it: You have to bring a gift to a shower (or you SHOULD), so that means them shelling out cash.
At a wedding, they’re getting a free meal and a free good time. Why wouldn’t they come?
What about your friends in the bridal party? Are they not coming either?
Post # 3
I don’t see the point in a couples shower.
Is there any back story to this? Do your friends like your FI? Are you guys really young? Did you give them enough notice? Did you have an out of town bachelorette?
Post # 4
I’ve learned to never expect anything in life. Life is filled with possibilities (good or bad). I suggest keeping your chin up and not think about these so called friends. Maybe this is a breaking point to let go of these people and find some better people to fill your life with that will treat you how they would like to be treated. On a positive note I’m glad you both have loved ones to throw you a party to celebrate.☺
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Well your friends sound kind of shitty but honestly I’ve been to a few boring showers and its an optional event so I wouldn’t make it a priority. A wedding on the other hand I would prioritize. Plus its not really wise to think of things as tit for tat. Everyone gets their own choice. You chose to attend all their events, they chose not to attend your shower. Not sure about the free meal and good time mentioned above, one should still bring a wedding gift. Unless you have a bunch of cheap a** guests like we did, story for another time. 😎
Post # 6
We do not have a bridal party…just my daughter. 🙂 The family sent invites out about 5 weeks ago, which is supposedly enough time. Not sure how you don’t see the point in a couple’s shower…
It’s supposed to be a family pool party, so kids were invited as well. And the excuse I’ve heard from several of my friends is that they don’t want to lug their couple of kids there. After I’ve gone to all their baby showers, kid birthday parties, etc. it seems pretty insulting to me.
@futuremrs1018 – I totally agree with you. I just told my FH I wished we could take some invited back. hah! But it does feel like they just want to have fun and enjoy the free food and booze at the wedding, but can’t be bothered to show up to anything else.
Post # 7
how much people are invited and how many are not coming? It sounds a bit odd if no one is coming. Did anything happen prior?
Post # 8
What is a couples shower?
I wouldn’t go to a couples shower, either, honestly. I understand bachelorette and weddings, the historical point of bridal showers (that i think don’t apply anymore in my social circles), but I don’t understand engagement parties and couples showers so I wouldn’t go to those. Seems redundant with the wedding, why celebrate someone’s choice to get married multiple times.
Post # 9
Each to their own on the couple’s shower. I’d much rather go with my SO to a couple’s event with a pool party than a boring bridal shower. Plus, that’s what the family offered to throw, so I’m not going to demand something different.
They told me to invite just my closest friends, so I invited (3) families of four and then (3) of my single friends. Several of my fiance’s friends are coming, so I guess it’s more of a “groom’s shower” at this point.
Post # 10
Those are not the good kind of friends to have. Geez! I mean if I had kids and had a chance to take them somewhere to swim all their energy out while I had fun with my friends, I would jump on it. Also, if my friend was getting married and I was broke – i’d just tell her hey I can’t do a gift right now but you know I’ll get you something as soon as I can.
I get the couples shower idea. I never throw any parties or gatherings where SO’s and kids aren’t invited. It’s old fashioned to have just a girls shower, and more people are doing the couple things these days. It’s a way to let everybody be involved. AND it SHOULD be a way to guarantee everyone can come because no one needs to look for childcare.
If I was you, I’d be re-thinking some things. I’m not one to say ditch your friends over this but I would tell them your feelings are hurt next time you see them. I would say you know this is a big deal for me, and it would be nice to have you involved in this exciting part of your life. Of course not everyone would be able to come because…life. But some people should have come.
Post # 11
Are you having any more showers or is this the only one? If they have previously attended a shower I could understand that.
Post # 12
Geez what a tough crowd on Weddingbee sometimes. Couples showers are perfectly normal where I’m from, and imo are way better than women-only showers because they tend to be more about having a fun party than opening up a bunch of boring wedding gifts. I had one, as did most of my friends…I would have been pretty depressed if no one showed up to mine. Sorry you’re dealing with this OP!
Post # 13
I understand feeling bad about none of your friends coming to your party.
However, I myself do not like bridal or wedding showers (even if it’s couples). Shower to me means you have to bring a gift. If I am invited to the wedding, I will bring a gift or send a gift for that, but I don’t believe in an obligation to give multiple gifts, so I do not attend these types of parties. I have never been to a bridal/couples shower myself and I did not have one. I did have a bachelorette party which was super fun and no one had to bring a gift.
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
It is a lot of work to watch children around a pool (I’m assuming you aren’t hiring a lifeguard). The parents can’t just go and have fun and kick back and not pay attention to their children in a pool. To them it may have been less daunting if it had been a regular party and not a pool party.
It sucks that they won’t be attending, but try not to hold it against them.
Post # 15
The point of a couples shower is to celebrate, duh!
I personally would rather go to a couples shower too. And yeah, your friends are being bummy bums. 🙁