(Closed) Not opening gifts at bridal shower?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve heard of similar showed like this called “call showers”. People just drop by between a certain time frame, mingle for a bit, and then go on their way. That might be something you look in to. 

Post # 3
Member
6800 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just have a bridal luncheon and never mind the shower aspect.  I would find it pretty weird to attend any kind of shower and not see the gifts get opened – it’s the whole point of the event.  But give it another name and my expectations will be different.  Have the event you will enjoy, not the event that tradition dictates you have.

Post # 4
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I went to a shower that was basically a cocktail hour. She didn’t open gifts and I didn’t miss it. 

Post # 5
Member
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’ve never been to a shower where they don’t open gifts. I’m the sort of person who actually enjoys watching people open the gifts I give them…that being said I wouldn’t find it rude or offensive if the bride-to-be chose to have the type of shower you’re describing where they don’t do that.

Post # 6
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Some people would be miffed some wouldn’t. I totally get it- I didn’t want to open gifts at my shower but ended up doing so by going table to table. It was more intimate and I was glad I did it bc there were some gifts that were def meant to be opened in front of everyone and shown off and I would have felt so terrible opening them in private later. These were gifts that people put a lot of time and thought into and deserved to have a little ooh and ahh not just your next set of towels. Like a homemade quilt, a personalized cuttingboard and cake toppers, a hand painted canvas, and a gift basket where the woman clearly took a ton of time putting together a little story of our relationship. This kind of worked for me bc we didn’t have a large registry so got a lot of cash and didn’t have much to open but it did take longer than it would have to open all of them in front of everyone bc we brought the gifts table to table, so it’s not practical for everyone but it did save some of the boredom from the rest of the guests. However I always thought if I had to do it again with more gifts how I would try to at least figure out a way to let people discern whether they wanted their gift opened in front of the other guests or not if I really didn’t want to do the opening thing. I have also given hand painted signs for nurseries and stuff and was so excited for that person to open it in front of me and the other guests and would have been really disappointed if they didn’t. However if they didn’t open the box of diapers I brought I could have cared less. Anyway I would say if there’s not a way to decide which to open I would just open them all bc some people will def be upset and they did just spend money to buy you gifts which was a nice thing they didn’t necessarily have to do lol

Post # 7
Member
3837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d much rather go to what you described (with the restaurant, mingling, and no gift opening) than a traditional shower any day.

Post # 8
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I went to a shower where guests were asked to wrap their gifts in clear cellophane so everyone could see what was given but we didn’t have to do the gift opening thing. I really liked it but I know some of the older people did not 

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’ll probably be the odd one out here and say I’d find it kinda rude to not see my gift opened at a shower. Also, am I the only one that actually enjoys watching people open gifts at showers? 🤔 I get excited for them. I like shower games too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

As long as I received a thank you for the gift I wouldn’t be upset if the bride didn’t open the gifts. They shouldn’t be the main focus of the event anyways. That being said, I actually enjoy watching gifts being opened. I like to see what the bride got! 

Post # 11
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee

I get intense anxiety about opening gifts in front of people, so I’d have no issues with someone else not opening their gifts for a crowd. 

I say go for the cocktail hour style event. It sounds much more your speed. 

Post # 12
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Maybe just have your event how you described but don’t call it a shower? Say it’s a girls lunch or something. Then people know gifts won’t be the focus and have the option of not bringing anything. 

Post # 13
Member
3323 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I hate watching people open gifts. I’d 100x rather attend a cocktail hour and get my thankyou card later lol.

Post # 14
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

I love the idea of attending a shower where the gifts arent going. I wouldnt miss sitting there aimlessly watching her open each gift. Id me more there for the mingling and food!

Post # 15
Member
3234 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yes it is rude to not open the gifts at the shower. The see through gift wrap idea is also rude. People took their time and money to shop for you, you can unwrap their gifts. If you don’t like the shower aspects of a shower…don’t have one. 

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