Post # 1
My bridesmaids are starting to ask me what I want for my bridal shower since the wedding is about 6 months away. I don’t really want to do the traditional “sit down and open gifts while everyone watches and waits for it to end.” I don’t really care for the cheesy games and things like that. Let’s be honest – nobody really wants to go to someone else’s shower, no matter how much they love that person. They’re just kind of boring.
A friend of mine mentioned a shower she went to that was more of just a private happy hour. She said they rented a room at a restaurant and provided food, there was a gift table, but the bride didn’t open them there. People brought gifts and had a couple drinks and mingled for a couple hours, ate, and went on their way. She said it was the best shower she’d ever been to because people got to just hang out and have a good time. I’d much rather do something like that and open gifts in private – I would still send thank-you’s, of course.
Has anyone had or gone to a shower where the bride didn’t open the gifts there? Is that considered rude? Not that it matters, but I’m 31 and my friends and I have all gone through the traditional shower thing a million times between weddings and babies.
Post # 2
I’ve heard of similar showed like this called “call showers”. People just drop by between a certain time frame, mingle for a bit, and then go on their way. That might be something you look in to.
Post # 3
Just have a bridal luncheon and never mind the shower aspect. I would find it pretty weird to attend any kind of shower and not see the gifts get opened – it’s the whole point of the event. But give it another name and my expectations will be different. Have the event you will enjoy, not the event that tradition dictates you have.
Post # 4
I went to a shower that was basically a cocktail hour. She didn’t open gifts and I didn’t miss it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
I’ve never been to a shower where they don’t open gifts. I’m the sort of person who actually enjoys watching people open the gifts I give them…that being said I wouldn’t find it rude or offensive if the bride-to-be chose to have the type of shower you’re describing where they don’t do that.
Post # 6
Some people would be miffed some wouldn’t. I totally get it- I didn’t want to open gifts at my shower but ended up doing so by going table to table. It was more intimate and I was glad I did it bc there were some gifts that were def meant to be opened in front of everyone and shown off and I would have felt so terrible opening them in private later. These were gifts that people put a lot of time and thought into and deserved to have a little ooh and ahh not just your next set of towels. Like a homemade quilt, a personalized cuttingboard and cake toppers, a hand painted canvas, and a gift basket where the woman clearly took a ton of time putting together a little story of our relationship. This kind of worked for me bc we didn’t have a large registry so got a lot of cash and didn’t have much to open but it did take longer than it would have to open all of them in front of everyone bc we brought the gifts table to table, so it’s not practical for everyone but it did save some of the boredom from the rest of the guests. However I always thought if I had to do it again with more gifts how I would try to at least figure out a way to let people discern whether they wanted their gift opened in front of the other guests or not if I really didn’t want to do the opening thing. I have also given hand painted signs for nurseries and stuff and was so excited for that person to open it in front of me and the other guests and would have been really disappointed if they didn’t. However if they didn’t open the box of diapers I brought I could have cared less. Anyway I would say if there’s not a way to decide which to open I would just open them all bc some people will def be upset and they did just spend money to buy you gifts which was a nice thing they didn’t necessarily have to do lol
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’d much rather go to what you described (with the restaurant, mingling, and no gift opening) than a traditional shower any day.
Post # 8
I went to a shower where guests were asked to wrap their gifts in clear cellophane so everyone could see what was given but we didn’t have to do the gift opening thing. I really liked it but I know some of the older people did not
Post # 9
I’ll probably be the odd one out here and say I’d find it kinda rude to not see my gift opened at a shower. Also, am I the only one that actually enjoys watching people open gifts at showers? 🤔 I get excited for them. I like shower games too. 🤷🏻♀️
Post # 10
As long as I received a thank you for the gift I wouldn’t be upset if the bride didn’t open the gifts. They shouldn’t be the main focus of the event anyways. That being said, I actually enjoy watching gifts being opened. I like to see what the bride got!
Post # 11
I get intense anxiety about opening gifts in front of people, so I’d have no issues with someone else not opening their gifts for a crowd.
I say go for the cocktail hour style event. It sounds much more your speed.
Post # 12
Maybe just have your event how you described but don’t call it a shower? Say it’s a girls lunch or something. Then people know gifts won’t be the focus and have the option of not bringing anything.
Post # 13
I hate watching people open gifts. I’d 100x rather attend a cocktail hour and get my thankyou card later lol.
Post # 14
I love the idea of attending a shower where the gifts arent going. I wouldnt miss sitting there aimlessly watching her open each gift. Id me more there for the mingling and food!
Post # 15
Yes it is rude to not open the gifts at the shower. The see through gift wrap idea is also rude. People took their time and money to shop for you, you can unwrap their gifts. If you don’t like the shower aspects of a shower…don’t have one.