(Closed) Not Opening Gifts at Shower

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: As a guest, how would you feel if your gift wasn't opened.

    Hurt. I like to be thanked right then and there.

    Whatever. Showers are boring either way.

    Psyched. We don't have to sit through an hour of unwrapping presents? Thank goodness.

    Other, please explain.

  • Post # 3
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had a large shower, with a shit load of gifts and it took like an hour to open everything (tops). As a guest, I like to see my gift opened and I know I’m not alone. Some may perceive not opening the gifts as rude so you should think about your guest list and gauge how they’ll react to this new concept. I imagine most older guests won’t be very receptive to it.

    Post # 4
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010 - The Pearl S. Buck House

    Oh man, I have mixed feelings about this. It was excrutiating as a bride to open all the gifts- and my mom invited toooo maaany people! But the whole point of a shower is the gifts. We register for gifts, people are obligated to buy the gifts, the least we can do as brides is put on the show for them. If we don’t want to open gifts, we should’t have a shower… right?

    And as a bridesmaid, when my friend tried to get out of openning gifts I was piiisssed because I couln’t get out of mine 😉 

    But I’m curious what other replies will be because it could also be really refreshing if someone really didn’t open them and let the party be a party…

    Post # 5
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I had the same feelings and wanted the same thing and I got such backlash that I didnt go through with it. From young and old alike the concensus was that without the gift opening its rude and people enjoy going to the shower for that reason. 

    Post # 6
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Castle Farms, Charlevoix, MI

    What my sister-in-law did and what I plan in doing is opening the gifts while the guests eat!  My bm’s and I will eat ahead of time and then do the gifts then.

    Post # 7
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Do a display shower –  guests dont wrap gifts and they are “displayed” for all to see

    Post # 8
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I wouldn’t be hurt, but I think it would be rude.  You can open gifts in a timely fashion (you don’t have to gawk over each gift…just open, look at it, and thank the person).  I think older family members or people like myself who put a lot of time or thought into the gift(s) they give appreciate seeing you open it and acknowledge you are grateful.  It does suck as the opener, but it’s just something you “should” do…like thank you cards. 

    Post # 11
    7172 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I don’t think you can please everyone.  I’ve been to tons of showers and never been to one where gifts weren’t open (except my own).  As a guest – I HATE the gift opening part.

    However, I think it’s expected that opening presents are part of a shower.  

    I didn’t open presents at one of my showers and I’m pretty sure it was missed (plus, the gifter is excited and wants to shower you – so, they also want to see your reaction).

    If I were to do it over, I would have opened my presents at that shower.

    ….I think it’s important to be a QUICK gift opener (not one that takes forever and a day to unwrap each package carefully).  That doesn’t mean you have to tear through it like it’s on fire, but just be quick about things and move it along…..

    Post # 12
    826 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I went to a baby shower where we were asked to not wrap the gifts, so nothing had to be opened. Best idea- I loved it and so did my friends!

    Post # 13
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I like the display shower idea — I think people really do enjoy watching the gifts being opened. I know that for me I hate it when I give someone a birthday gift or a card and they say that they’ll open it later! I do take pleasure in people’s reactions to the stuff I got them, particularly if it’s handmade or has a special meaning.

    Post # 14
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I’m not sure I would mind either way. I like watching people open their gifts if the shower isn’t too large but it felt way awkward to do it at my own shower.

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