(Closed) Not Opening Gifts at Shower

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: As a guest, how would you feel if your gift wasn't opened.

    Hurt. I like to be thanked right then and there.

    Whatever. Showers are boring either way.

    Psyched. We don't have to sit through an hour of unwrapping presents? Thank goodness.

    Other, please explain.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I wouldn’t care one way or the other. I would have given the gift because I thought you’d want/need/use it, not for the thrill of watching you open it OR the public accolades. And I’m not coming to the shower just to see what you got. I’d come because I wanted to see you and congratulate you. And food. Because showers usually have some decent food πŸ™‚

    Seriously, I don’t see the problem with it personally. Though, I also don’t get my knickers in a bunch if it takes 2 months for a thank you card to be sent, either.

    Post # 33
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I love opening presents, so I can’t relate.  πŸ™‚  Having people bring unwrapped gifts isn’t a terrible idea, though.  I wouldn’t be offended by that, but I would feel a little cheated if you didn’t open my damn present at your shower.  I don’t really care about being thanked, but I want to see the look on your face and know you like it – I try hard with presents! 

    I had a small shower (and small wedding) and had tons of fun opening presents. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i understand that after a while opening gifts can get boring, but i don’t think it should be skipped. just try to make it quick (but not so rushed that it comes across as rude) and have a few people (your bridesmaids, maybe) on hand to help keep the flow going- passing gifts to you, taking them from you after you opened them so you don’t need to mess with putting it back in the box, etc… 

    i want to echo the idea of making the gifts into a game. at my shower we set a timer and whenever it went off, the person who gave me the gift i was opening got a prize. you could also do a bingo game, like someone else suggested. i’ve done that at baby showers. we all got blank bingo cards and filled them in with items that we thought the mom-to-be would get and marked them off if she received them. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I went to a shower in the spring where they had no games, and no one really organized people – they just started to open gifts, and if you wanted to watch you did, but most people didn’t. 

    But I hate to say it sister – if you want the presents, you kinda need to live with being the center of attention. Plus, it’s less boring when it’s your stuff. πŸ˜‰

    Post # 36
    Member
    2852 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I HATE opening gifts in front of people – I find it awkward and stressful. BUT, I LOVE giving gifts, I put a lot of thought into them, and I usually go all-out with things like showers. Part of the reason I love giving gifts is watching other people open them, and knowing you hit the right note. I’d be choked to go to a shower just to have my gift put aside on a table and that’s it. PP’s are right too in that this is why we have showers. If it were a birthday party it wouldn’t bother me so much, but at a bridal or baby shower I’d definitely be a bit miffed at not getting to see the recipient open my gift.

    ETA: For the sake of research into the oldies/youngies thing, I’m 30.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2852 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @lilchicana:  Your game ideas surrounding the gift opening are awesome!

    Post # 38
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    This is a different situation, but I thought it was rude nonetheless.  I once attended a wedding shower where the bridal party took the gift from the guests as they walked in, unwrapped it and put it on display.  The bride to be then walked around and looked at what she got from her guests.  I found it very cold and impersonal.  Many people spend money and effort just in the wrapped presentation of the gift and she did not even see that.  I guess it was too much work for her, or perhaps she may have gotten a paper cut while unwrapping…me? bitter?…no, well maybe just a little. lol

     

    Post # 39
    Member
    1380 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

    I love the idea actually!!!  It’s what I would do. πŸ™‚

    Post # 40
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I can’t understand why anybody would be hurt…I have been to quite a few bridal showers in my lifetime and the last bridal shower I went to was amazing..it was a sit down brunch – short and sweet – to the point, no presents were opened and it just felt very elegant – I am definitely considering doing this for my own! (or suggesting it to whoever is planning)

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @route507too:  I think you might offend a lot of people doing this.  Some people put a lot of thought into a gift and want to see your reaction when opening.  Even people that just grab off the registry still like to see their gift opened, want a thank you, etc.

    You could open while everyone is eating???  That will take some of the attention off you, and allow guests to still chat and eat while you’re doing your boring job!

    Post # 42
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Oh, or… maybe, depending on the venue, if there is an extra room, you can give guests the option to watch you open… Like if you have one room designated for food, entertainment, etc and the other room can be the gift-opening room?  I don’t know if this would work, just throwing it out there…..

    Post # 43
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    my SIL does this all the time. Even for birthday parties for my nephew and brother too. i love to see the reaction because I know I have taken a lot of time and effort picking out something that they will really love. But maybe that is just me.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1381 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would be psyched to watch the gift-opening if I knew I had brought a stellar present (and consequently disappointed if there was no gift-opening).  BUT.. if I felt was present was a little “ehh”, I could do without the gift opening.

    So in other words, it really depends on what I brought! 

    Post # 45
    Hostess
    11163 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I HATED opening the gifts in front of everyone. I felt so strange and awkward. However, as a guest I kind of like seeing what the person got. So honesty as a guest yeah I like it but if they didn’t open their gifts right then and there I wouldn’t be bothered….more time for food. πŸ™‚

    Post # 46
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I wouldn’t be hurt, and I also don’t think it’s rude. You can thank people for coming then send a thank you card later.

    The opening of the gifts and ooh and awwing over gifts are actually the only parts I hate of the showers. It’s just weird and awkward and if you seen one set of gifts at a shower you seen them all. Honesly it’s one thing I wouldn’t miss.

    That being said, I still plan on opening my gifts at my shower.

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