(Closed) Not Planning Until Engaged, but….

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is a long engagement worth it for the money saved for wedding and reception?
    No, it is only one day : (8 votes)
    13 %
    No, I want to call him my husband as soon as possible : (17 votes)
    27 %
    yes, gives you time to discuss marriage and the options when planning a wedding : (17 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, if you want to save money for the wedding of your dreams, it does no harm to make it come true. : (21 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2840 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Oh wow! That’s exciting! I hope you get the proposal of your dreams.

    It really is just a personal choice that you and your almost Fiance should decide together.  Darling Husband and I had a 7 month engagement. Engaged on Mar 18 and married on Oct 20.  It was just the right amount of time for the both of us. We are Christians and so we chose not to live together or sleep together before being married. So you could say that those two factors definitely made us want to get married faster – lol. We were lucky enough to have the money for the wedding of our dreams. But that was also because our parents gave money towards the wedding. Had it been completely coming out of our pocketbooks, we would have had a much smaller wedding but I don’t think we would have waited any longer to marry.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2840 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @flutiecutie:  Thank you! Yes, not quite a month yet! 🙂 Almoooosssttttt.

    Post # 6
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My Fiance and I are having a 2+ year engagement for a few reasons.  We wanted to get exactly what we wanted and many things were already booked for 2013.  We knew we were paying for 75% of the wedding so we wanted to do it comfortably and not feel over stressed.  I have one more year of nursing school and I didn’t want to plan too much while in school, too much stress. 

    Yeah there are some days where I get sad that my wedding is still 2 years away but it is absolutely the right decision for us to wait so long.  And why rush it, we are loving being engaged and want to enjoy every minute of it.  If you think to get your dream wedding you should wait and save than do it, you won’t regret it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I said no, but that’s based on my experience.  We wanted to just get married, but we already had enough money to pay for the wedding.  I really don’t know if I would have been ok with a longer engagement if it was just to save up for the wedding.  As it was I had to wait forever for him to propose because he didn’t want to do it until he could pay cash for the ring, and be able to afford a wedding and honeymoon. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    6743 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    As much as I want to call him my husband asap, I also want the wedding of our dreams and not to struggle over money in the process.  Plus, it’s really fun to be engaged.  Ok, I’ve only been officiall engaged for like 5 days lol, but still – I always pictured myself having a nice, long engagement of about 1 1/2 years, so I would have plenty of time to plan things and wedding dress shop and not stress over time or money.  So, I’m with you on that one!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I guess it would depend on what the difference was.

    If you’re talking about a difference of a couple thousand dollars and 5 months or so then I’d say wait and have your awesome venue.

    If it’s the difference of thousands and thousands of dollars and over a year from what your date and budget would have been, then I say just let it go.

    Post # 11
    Member
    901 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m 34. I want babies and I also want to be married a little while before we have them. It’s looking like we’ll have to wait at least 6 months due to the Catholic Church and even that sounds like a long time to me.

    I think if you’re younger or you don’t care about baby timelines, it’s fine. But for me it’s more about the marriage than the wedding. We’ll spend what we can within our means and that’s that. Saving for years for one day is not something we’re interested in doing.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    If you have your heart set on something and waiting 1.5-2 years can make it happen- go for it!! Just make sure to also talk to SO/ soon to be fiance and make the decision together.

    Post # 13
    Member
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would have liked a longer engagement, but I am also anxious to just be married and start that new chapter of our lives. We’ll end up having a 9 month engagement, which seems like it’s a long time, but I feel like it’s cutting it close.

    Anyway, I don’t see the harm in waiting so that you can get all of your ducks in a row. A longer engagement also means less stress as time crunch isn’t a problem, and you can get anything of importance sorted out long before the wedding.

    Ultimately, you should do what makes you happy. If you prefer a 1.5-2 year engagement, screw what anyone else thinks, and just do it. Plus, it’s not like this is super unusual, as the average engagement is ~15 months long.

    Post # 15
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Still a waiting bee, but we’ve discussed having a 1.5 year engagement in order to save for what we want. Do what makes you happy…have the wedding you want! Also, I’ve been to your venue and fabulous doesn’t even begin to describe it!

    Post # 16
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I see no harm in having a long engagement in order to have the wedding of your dreams!  Yes, it’s true that it’s only one day…but it’s YOUR day and it should be amazing.  Especially if it’s something you’ve thought about before.  Plus, I actually really like the feeling of being a “bride”…I’m really concerned that I’m going to be sad when it’s over! (Definitely a Monica moment lol).

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