(Closed) Not quite a vow renewal….

posted 5 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 2
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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rachelfoster:  Can you be more specific about the parts you’re having trouble with?  Also, you officiant can be a great help to you here.

 

Post # 3
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee

Do the guests know you’re already married?Did you make any vows at courthouse or simply sign paperwork?  Not asking for judgmental reasons, but because it may change whatever wording you choose to use.  

Post # 6
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
rachelfoster:  First of all, if you are hiring an officiant it is usually his/her job to work out the details of ceremony wording.  So you may be borrowing stress unnecessarily. 

But if you want to start sketching it out, I’d say that there are some easy substitutions to be made. For example,

 – the introduction when the officiant would normally say something like “we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of x & y” he/she could say something like, “we are gathered here today to witness the re-affirming of vows between x & y” or “we are gathered here today to witness the marriage vows of x & y”

– the end when the officiant would normally say something like “I now present to you, for the first time, mr and mrs x!” he/she could say “I now present to you, mr and mrs x!”

Most of the ceremony is still completely relevant without modification even if this isn’t the first day of your marriage.

Post # 7
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

My husband and I got married in a courthouse last year and we will be having our “real” wedding ceremony mid 2017. I don’t think it’s weird to have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, regardless of whether you’re already married or not.

We are personally doing it because we had to get married quickly before moving to another country for a job, and so we didn’t get to enjoy our engagement or have extended family or even any friends at our courthouse wedding. We also didn’t hire a photographer as  we were planning on having our “real” wedding later on anyways. Everyone agrees that it’s a fine thing to do, and we actually know two other couples who have married at city hall and are planning their big wedding for a year or two after. 

Since everyone knows we’re married, we’ll either have the officiant say something like “as Mr. And Mrs. have already participated in a matrimonial ceremony, we will be proceeding with this event as it is the first time”. This is just so that our photographer, family, and friends who missed it the first time can experience it. We are also toying with the idea of just doing a vow renewal with a reception. Whatever you choose, you can’t be wrong if both your and your husband are happy!

Post # 8
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t see why any of the wording for a vow renewel wouldn’t work. Just take out any references to a long period of time. I also think its off puttig to call it your real wedding. Plenty of people get married at city hall. I would just call it your big wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t understand. A vow is a promise, so exchanging promises you made at your original wedding in front of your guests could also be called exchanging vows. Do you just not like the term “vow renewal?” Because, to me, that sounds exactly like what you are doing

Post # 11
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think you’re on the right track. Have the officiant  begin with something like “we are here to publicly witness the commitment X and Y have made to each other, and to show that we as a community support their marriage.”

Then the officiant can maybe say a few words about your relationship with your husband, have someone special to you do a reading, and say your vows. You’ll probably find other marriage ceremony  scripts helpful and can easily make a few tweaks to fit your situation. 

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