Post # 1
So last night was one of my good friends birthdays who also happens to be a bridesmaid.
i never, I mean ever, go to night clubs downtown anymore. Her and I used to with our group of friends years ago. But she really wanted me to for her birthday this year so I took the night off to go. It started with a party at her house at supper time them heading downtown later. I felt so sick this weekend and I text her that and she never responded.
it took all I had to get out of bed and get dressed. I looked like crap. I showed up and put on a happy face even though I didn’t know anyone – it was all her childhood friends. around 10pm I fell asleep while we were playing a game and I told her I was going to head home in about an hour. She wouldn’t even look at me. In an hours time when they were leaving I told her I was going to go home and she just said ok and walked away.
3am she sends me a super long message saying she doesn’t give two shits about me making the excuse that I was sick and should have sucked it up. twice she brought up how she gets that I’m getting married and she is single but I should still go out for her. she also told me I should not have picked up so many shifts prior to her birthday so that I wasn’t worn out.
she said a lot of hurtful things to me. We have never talked to each other like this. I just replied “I’m sorry” and she read it but still has not responded. My getting married has zero todo with this. I just grew out oF clubbing but I was 100 percent going to go for her but I was so sick.
Do I say anything to her or wait?
Post # 3
wait, shes acting immature. give her time to cool off and then you can talk to her and since shes a bridesmaid you will have to talk things over. i hope it works out
Post # 4
Sounds like she completely overreacted. She had no right to talk to you like this… if you don’t wanna go, you don’t wanna go! And who is she to say you’re not sick?
Just make sure you haven’t been making her feel immature or anything because she still wants to go out an you don’t- even if you don’t mean to, it could cause her to be resentful of your pending marriage.
Post # 5
Umm… don’t drink and text.
I’d talk to her about it. Now that she’s cooled off and sobered up, you can have a calm conversation. Friendships evolve, and I think it’s really good to hash it out once in a while about how your relationship is going to work out. I’ve had the same two best friends since we were nine years old, and the things we liked to do obviously changed over time, and sometimes at different paces. It sucks that she was rude, but hopefully you guys can work it out.
Post # 6
I think her feelings were probably hurt because you left so soon. I would reach out to her and explain that you weren’t feeling well and maybe you two can go out another night. If you don’t like the club scene maybe you can do a bar/restaurant for some drinks! Hope you two are able to work it out.
Post # 7
I never go go out either. I get huge migranes from loud noise and flashing lights and it can make me physically sick. Still if my friends invite me out they get upset if I don’t come or go home early. It makes them feel like I am calling them childish or just not caring about them.
In your position, I would talk to her, I’d even offer to go out with her, downtown, in a week when I was better. Yes, she was being immature and probably drunk texting, but I’ve been in situations where I just couldn’t see that the other person really did care and all I wanted was for them to show me how much they really did care.
Post # 8
She is a cow.
Cannot really think of anything else to say.
Post # 9
I never really go out either – not so much growing out of clubbing, as never actually growing into it in the first place! But I would assume that she’d had a bit to drink, given that she sent the message so late/early and, alcohol being the magical thing that it is, would most likely have exacerbated her feeling upset with you for leaving early.
It sucks that she thinks you were lying about being sick but, unfortunately, no one else is going to know exactly how good (or crap) we are feeling. And if there have been other times in the past where you’ve not caught up with her, or caught up with her but not been ‘all there’ because of other things going on in your life (e.g. wedding planning), perhaps she feels taht you were just making excuses?
Post # 10
She was definitely out of line, but my theory is that she is probably afraid of losing to You to world of married people. Perhaps she saw her party as a kind of test, and is upset that you “failed”. Have a talk with her about how hurt was hurtful, and reassure hguy of your friendshio, no matter your marital status- that is,if she apologizes and acts decently!!
Post # 11
If she sent that at 3AM, she was probably drunk. I wouldn’t take it too seriously. Give it some time and then go back to her and see if it was just drunk talk or if she was serious so that you can have a heart-to-heart if necessary.
Post # 12
She’s really, really selfish and immature. I’d drop her as a friend and never give her another thought.
Post # 14
She still has not responded to my “I’m sorry” after her long rant
Post # 15
Aaaaaand she replied giving me reasons and a sincere apology.
Post # 16
@meetmethere2013: I was in her position maybe 7 or so years ago. Granted, I was never rude to my friends or sent them nasty-grams, but I remember on my 22nd birthday I was very excited to go out clubbing with the girls. I had one friend in particular who was now, in hindsight, “growing up” and living with her SO and in my overly dramatic opinion at the time, “never wanted to leave the house anymore.” She always made excuses if we had plans to go out to the bar or a late movie and it just started to feel like she thought she was too good for us now.
After many a conversation with her and after we all started taking our turns settling down, it became clear to us that it was neither her SO or us to blame….she just grew out of that phase before we did.