(Closed) Not registering anywhere for gifts….do you stil have a shower?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
ucsadie:  I think if you’re going to have a shower you need to register for gifts or you’ll end up with a lot of weird and random stuff that you really don’t need or want.


Post # 3
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Idk… the whole point of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts, so if you don’t want any gifts I’m not sure what the point of a shower would be.  I guess you could just have a pre-wedding party with all the ladies, but I wouldn’t call it a shower and I wouldn’t be expecting people to give you cash

Post # 4
925 posts
Busy bee

My friend had a shower without being registered and she got a lot of cash. 
I think it might be a touch tacky as the point of a shower is for gifts. 

HOWEVER if I got an invite to a shower where there was a note asking for gift cards to stores like the ones you mentioned I would not think twice about it and I would be more than happy to do so… but thats just me

Post # 5
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Funnily enough I just posted this on another thread… I really wanted everyone to get together, but I didn’t want it to be about gifts… I was having a Destination Wedding and I didn’t want guests to feel obliged to get a gift, so one of my friends organized a ‘blessing shower’.

Btw we aren’t religious at all, it was for ‘secular blessings’, lol – and it was one of the most moving and beautiful parts of my wedding weekend.  One of my friends send out an email a month or so before, inviting people, and telling them that they could bring a blessing in the form of something written, a story, a song, etc. and we had a casual brunch at the apartment where my mum was staying.

I am so glad we did it – and while we may not have followed all the etiquette rules (my friend emailed invitations bc many people were overseas and we weren’t sure that the paper ones would make it in time, plus I didn’t want her to spend $$ on that) everyone absolutely loved it – and it helped all the people who didn’t know each other to feel closer at the ceremony and party.

ETA: Lol, I read your post quickly (too quickly) and just realized that what you’d really like is gift cards!  I guess my post still applies in terms of ‘alternative things’ you can do instead of opening gifts… and having a few activities would probably help.  I’ve been to a few showers where we didn’t sit around while gifts were opened, and no one minded – as long as you send thank you notes, I don’t think they’ll care if they see you open their gift.

Also – you could register on Zola for things you need for the house… that way people feel like they’re participating in something tangible, but you still get cash –


Post # 6
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

If you want cash and/or giftcards over actual gifts, I would still register for a few little things somewhere (Target, BB&B, etc.) so people who would rather give an actual gift have some choices they know you would be happy with. The last bridal shower I went to the bride had a registry but ended up with about 50% of guests just giving cash/gift cards instead.


Post # 7
337 posts
Helper bee

You know your family and friends best. Would they think it weird that you weren’t asking for gifts? For me, showers have never been about gifts and more about the closest women in your life coming together to support you. It completely blows my mind that NOT asking for gifts could come across as tacky but oh well. 

Maybe have an alternative registry like a stock the bar registry or have everyone bring you a recipe they love. You can ask them to provide their marriage or relationship advice somehow. 

If after telling people that their presence is present enough, anyone giving you money should be doing it because they love you and want to give to you. Some guests will want to give to you so much they will give you cash anyway — and it’s a lovely gesture! At least you’ve relieved that pressure to give and ended up with less stuff you don’t have a need for anyway.

Post # 8
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

We’re not registering either for the same reason as you. My future Mother-In-Law offered to throw me a shower and I respectfully declined. I don’t want people to buy me things I can buy for myself or that I don’t need or to give me money. I just want them to come and celebrate with us and have a good time. Some of my friends have asked to take me out for a girls brunch and drinks and stuff, which I am all about!!  I’d rather spend time with people in smaller groups. I am also really shy, so that’s probably part of it! Do whatever you want. If you want to have a shower, have a shower and don’t feel bad about it. No regrets. 🙂


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