Post # 1
I am getting a lot of grief from my mom and future Mother-In-Law about not registering for china. I did not register for china because we live in a tiny apartment with not a lot of extra space, we do not even yet own a table, I don’t know what I want (and I don’t want to pick out something I will hate in 5 years, etc).
We also actually do not own most of the kitchen essentials, nice knives and pans, etc. Yet apparently everyone of our parent’s generation wants to buy us something "nice" for our wedding that we will want to use on our 50th anniversary. Both have said they’ve been getting comments from extended family asking, what kind of china should I get them? I know I will eventually want to get china.
Should I bite the bullet and register for some? Our wedding is in 6 weeks.
Post # 3
At this point, i wouldn’t. You don’t really have time to look and find something you’ll really like, and if you have limited storage space on top of it. i’d just explain to your Future Mother-In-Law that right now, you’d rather register for things you really need, and later, when you have a larger home, you’ll look around then.
Post # 4
Hahaha! Our situations are so different. My mom told me absolutely NOT to register for china — she never uses hers and I could have it when I wanted it. Sweet! I too wouldn’t have a place to put it, and until I’m more permanantly settled, china is the last thing I want — it’s a pain in the butt to move.
Anyway, don’t cave into the pressure. The whole must buy people china thing is a blast from the fifties when getting married meant becoming Suzy homemaker. Register for what you want and need now, not for what people think you should want and need. Isn’t that the point of a registry? To avoid getting what other people think you should want?
Post # 5
My mom wants me to register for china too but I say no way. It’s just not practical for me. I plan on getting nice enough everyday plates that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to serve at a party. But who needs china that you h ave to find somewhere to store and handwash the few occasions that you do use it. My mom and her friends are just chalking it up to wacky me but from what I hear, a lot of people are doing that these days.
Post # 6
We’re kind of in a similar situation. We live in a small apartment, and our lifestyle just doesn’t warrant fine china. We’re in our early thirties, so it’s not like we’re fresh out of college and just don’t know that we’ll need fine dining wear someday. I’m pretty sure we just wouldn’t use it very often, and I certainly don’t have a big china cabinet to store this stuff in! I actually have some vintage flowery china that was my grandmother’s, and we store it in 2 big boxes in cabinets under our bathroom sink.
I appreciate the sentiment of getting the good stuff, but for my lifestyle, it just doesn’t fit. I don’t throw fancy dinner parties, have extended family over for holiday meals, and would be scared I’d break the expensive stuff.
We are registering for a matching set of some pretty, sturdy, but casual daily dishes, which will be a lovely upgrade from our existing stash of random dishware. Having matching stuff is luxurious to me!
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Ugh, china. I feel like I’m one of the only brides who just can’t stand it. I’d much rather have handmade pottery. If you don’t want it, don’t register for it! Ask them for woodworked furniture or art or a quilt if they want to get you something nice you can enjoy for a long time.
Post # 8
No china here… I’m sure we’ll inherit some eventually, but personally I don’t want it and likely won’t use it. Everyday stonewear for us. Don’t feel guilty…
Post # 9
No china registry for me, either…I have asked my mom if she would consider giving me hers, which she was happy to do. If they want you to have something you will use on your 50th, maybe there are other family items they could pass along, instead…hopefully you will like them, but at least you know they should be more "classic" and you would keep them. Maybe they could contribute to your photo album or something else meaningful, too, to increase what your current budget can afford.
Post # 10
If they want to give you something nice you will use on your 50th, register for diamonds
I think people of an older generation don’t necessarily realize that families live very different lifestyles today than they did when they married.
Post # 11
The man at Bed Bath and Beyond kept telling me we should register for China! My Husband and I are "droppers" so Correlle plates works for us! Even during "Holidays and special occasions" LOL… I finally scanned some china sets to get him off my back. Ha ha… Little did we know it was around $200 per set…. I even scanned a gravy boat that was $200! I went back online later that night and took it off our list. Who the heck in our circle of family and friends would get that for us?!
chelseamorning: If you don’t need it or want it don’t register for it! You can pick them out later and buy them yourselves.
Post # 12
We registered for nice, sturdy plain white dishes from Crate & Barrel. I have a collection of chargers and other table decor, so I can dress the white plates to be fancy/festive/appropriate for any occasion and yet still put them in the microwave and dishwasher afterward. I am totally looking forward to them. Our current plates are brown and boring and do not match my red sparkly chargers.
My mom registered for two sets of dishes when she got married in the 70s. Both sets are ugly, but the "fancy" set is by far the ugliest. I don’t see the point.
Post # 13
Chealseamorning, taking from what several posters have said, could you get mom and Future Mother-In-Law off your back by suggesting that while you don’t really have a place for china now you’d always hoped to inherit a family set someday in the future … a good ol’ tug on the heart strings like that might buy you some time?
I like the idea of the simple white dishes that can be dressed up with chargers!
FH and I actually already have a partial set of vintage china that we really like (that he picked up at a garage sale) so instead of registering for new china we plan to register with Replacements.com for pieces to fill out the set … I hope this idea isn’t too far fetched for our families.
Post # 14
I just don’t really see the need. As an only child I will inherit my mothers 2 sets along with some of my MIL’s 4 sets so if I do decide that I want it later I will certainly have options.
Don’t register for it. Honestly. It’s YOURwedding and these are going to be YOUR gifts, so you should register for things that YOU want. I really don’t think this is an issue that you need to change your opinion on just to suit someone else.
Post # 15
No- no china here. I did register for Denby – which is quite expensive – and sort of between china & everyday dishes. I regisered for it because it’s lovely and we’d love to have it in our home.
Now silver- I did cave on- my mother insisted.
Post # 16
Funny that this got resurrected! OP here. I did end up registering for and receiving china. How did I do it? I picked something I love right now, instead of trying to cater to "traditional" or "what I will like when I’m 50" tastes. We got china but without fancy gold or platinum on it, so it’s dishwasher and microwave safe. I enjoy eating off it every single day. It’s Lenox Chirp pattern.
My advice? Don’t be afraid to get what you love.