(Closed) Not RSVPing and decide to show up? Enjoy your pbj…

posted 9 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What do you think about a pbj dinner for the people who don't RSVP or say "no" and show up anyway?

    It's fair

    Totally rude!

  • Post # 47
    Member
    3380 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @lina010:  It’s worse manners to call someone out on their bad manners, in my opinion.

    Post # 48
    Member
    3380 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @BrandNewBride:  I’m sorry, that is just shameful. It truly speaks to the character of the bride that would do something like this, in my opinion. My sorority used these kinds of tactics during pledge, it was equally juvenile back then.

    Post # 49
    Member
    7991 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MrsSweetT:  people who don’t RSVP “Yes” will not have a seating card. therefore they will have no dinner. 

    if those types of people show up, well if they are lucky they may get to eat the food of someone who did RSVP but couldn’t come at the last minute.

    i would not put out special food for them, or even have a table.  treat them as if they are not there.

    i know they might be your friends or family.  but honestly weren’t they being rude first by not RSVPing in the first place.

    i once had a friend who refused to rsvp to evites.  he didnt understand why it was neccessary.  then one day he had a house party, and no one RSVPed.  then he understood why RSVPing was neccessary.

     

     

    Post # 50
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Although I wouldnt de that exactly, it did give me the idea that if anyone shows up with rsvping they can sit at the kids table! it wont be in our seating configuration (horse shape)  we can only fit a certain number of people and they wont be on my seating chart.  Its not my fault people are rude.

    Post # 51
    Member
    2184 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    For mine if anyone decides to show up it will fully be at the embarrassment of the guest…. our tables are perfectly full (oddly enough)… the only empty seats right now are one at each of my parents tables and no one who randomly shows up will be sitting THERE!!!

    SO, the only option is to have them skooted into one of the other tables crowding and making the whole set up uncomfortable for all the other guests at the table who are SUPPOSED to be there! Im pretty sure the dirty looks and possible comments will give them the picture 😉

    Post # 52
    Member
    8700 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @badabing88:  The worst part was that her GRANDMOTHER was one of the people who had to go outside! In the middle of summer!

    Post # 53
    Member
    3380 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @BrandNewBride:  Based on the women I’ve seen on Four Weddings, I am not surprised in the slightest.

    Post # 54
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have to laugh as some of the posts because I am truly amazed that people think it’s acceptable to ignore an RSVP and then SHOW UP. Huh? While the ostracizing may not be nice since when it is acceptable to just so up to an event. Many couples are paying $100+ per plate at their reception are we that inconsiderate and entitled that we feel it’s ok to just show up, no call, no nothing? I wouldn’t do that to someone’s house party, let alone a wedding. Perhaps if they are thoroughly embarassed this time they’ll think twice about it next time. But I believe they just shouldn’t be allowed in.

    Post # 55
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    While I think it’s rude of people not to RSVP, I think that it doesn’t justify being rude in return.  Even though the guest is in the wrong, I feel a bride and groom should rise above their level and make them feel welcome nevertheless.  If someone was a notorious procrastinator and didn’t have travel plans, I’d consider putting them down as a yes.  I’d rather waste one table of food, than be rude and ungracious.  Whatever money is spent on food for those who don’t RSVP is usually made up for in gifts and it looked really awful on Four Weddings when the bride had guests sent outside.  I empathized, but it didn’t cast a very flattering light over the bride or her wedding.

    Post # 57
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

     I feel like planning brides get offended so fast by people including not RSVPing.  Yes it sucks, but does it warrent revenge?  NO.  I’m sorry any half decent caterer is prepared for add ons and menue changes. If that happened to me, I’d take my gift and leave and leave that friendship as well.

    Post # 58
    Member
    2637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    one phone call isn’t enough. Call them, politely ask if they are coming (leave a message,) give them a day or two THEN try some other form of communication like facebook or email, give them a couple more days, THEN call once more and leave a message saying politely that you are going to have to assume that their silence means they will not be coming and there will not be a seat for them. Don’t simply assume they aren’t coming if you don’t hear from them after one phone call.

    Post # 60
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I am dealing with “non-responders” as our RSVP deadline is looming and I definitely laughed at the thought of doing that but absolutely would NEVER. I like the idea of contacting the slackers individually and letting them know that you absolutely have to know by X date or else they will be counted as a no. I’m very hopeful that I won’t have to do that as it seems a little harsh but people just seem to be oblivious to wedding etiquette. 

    Post # 61
    Member
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We had a buffet and not every seat was reserved, so there were a few extra seats in case this happened. But I wasn’t worried about this happening. I was more worried about no shows.

    I think it’s funny to joke about but totally rude to actually do it.

     

    And now I really want a PB&J.

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