(Closed) Not RSVPing and decide to show up? Enjoy your pbj…

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What do you think about a pbj dinner for the people who don't RSVP or say "no" and show up anyway?

    It's fair

    Totally rude!

  • Post # 77
    6533 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    It’s a funny idea in theory, but would be incredibly rude in actuality. Even though they showed up unexpectedly! I think the majority of the unexpected guests can be found out by calling/following up after RSVP deadline. If they still show up unexpected, or someone brings extra guests, it will already be obvious when there isn’t a seat/place card/plated meal etc. They’ll realize how rude they were. That’s what I’ll be doing – no seats if you said no. 

    Post # 78
    5317 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Unnecessarily hostile when simply not having extra food would suffice, but I agree with the sentiment of not having extra food for those who didn’t RSVP even after follow-up.


    Post # 80
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    A week after our RSVP deadline, I sent a gentle reminder. A week after that, I asked for RSVPs by that Friday as we were contracted to give final numbers on a specific date. On the day we have to supply final numbers and finalise invoices, I will let the guests who haven’t sent an RSVP that unfortunately we can no longer accommodate them, and they are welcome to attend the evening reception still. I don’t see why couples should engage in anything bitchy like sitting those guests outside!

    Post # 81
    1374 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    If I, as a properly RSVPed guest, witnessed a table that said “You didn’t RSVP, here is your dinner” with plasticware and bread, I’d form some VERY harsh opinions of the bride/groom. The sole purpose of something like that is humiliation which is a disgusting way to treat a friend/family member, even if they broke etiquette first.

    I would simply not have any seats for them, and let them draw their own conclusions. They can find a restaurant nearby, and then come back for dancing. If you expect them to eat PBJ, and then say “well I guess you were right” and stay friends with you, I think you are mistaken. It’s a very public way to burn bridges.

    Post # 82
    27 posts
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Gosh, what a lot of effort to show people you aren’t putting any effort into them. :/

    Post # 83
    33 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I do some event planning for a living, and the best advice is always expect the unexpected. I believe the reception is a celebration of the members of your community who come out to witness your marriage, and it’s best to just go with the flow. At my brother’s wedding, we had a random dude friend of a cousin show up, drunk no less. We let him be until he got rowdy, then asked him to leave. But we didn’t make it a thing. That would have been a lot of stress on my sister in law.

    We have some freedom due to our destination wedding and nontraditional venue, but I plan to j just have plenty of food, drink and seating. But we want to maintain a partyatmosphere. Maybe they thought they did RSVP? Regardless, for the sake of stress, just relax and go with it if possible. 

    If not, and it is a thing, at least be kind. Kindness is a good way to start a marriage and new family.

    Post # 85
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @BrandNewBride:  that’s hillarious i wanna see that epsiode. Was that the american version of 4 weddings? seriously how hard is it to RSVP!!

    Post # 86
    8700 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @cuddlz88:  I think so–it was one of the older episodes!

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