(Closed) Not seeing eye to eye with FI and need advice. *long*

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should we invite Joe and Mary?
    Suck it up and be the bigger person and invite them : (10 votes)
    33 %
    Stick to your guns and avoid these toxic people : (17 votes)
    57 %
    Invite Joe and leave Mary off the invite : (2 votes)
    7 %
    Other, explain in a comment below : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Why are you even making this a consideration?  No.  They didn’t invite you to their wedding and have been very disrespectful to you.

    Post # 4
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I wouldn’t want them there either, but the fact of the matter is that the best man is related to this person and if you try not to invite his twin brother then it’s going to cause all kinds of drama. You’ve said half your friends would be horrified if they weren’t invited. It just sounds to me like it would be less drama to have them there. I mean, from the sounds of it you’re going to be stuck with them even after the wedding because they seem to be tightly knit into your group of friends.

    Post # 6
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Rockwell: What a sad situation! As long as your fiance is ok with it, I’d recommend not inviting the friends. If Fiance only feels the need to invite them out of obligation, then that will most likely subside and he should be understanding to your desire not to have them present. If he is still good friends with Joe, though, it may be a little trickier. Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m a big fan of the path of least resistance.  It seems like these people wouldn’t cause a commotion or do things that would upset your big day and at the very least the male shares a part of your husband’s childhood.  with his brother being the Bridesmaid or Best Man and people assuming they are invited it seems easiest to just do it,  but in the end if it is going to stress you out having them come it may not be worth it. 

    I would invite them in the same way you were invited,  to the male and guest.

    Post # 8
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @Rockwell:  I also have a relative who has put me in this situation.  I’m inviting that relative to be the “bigger person”, but I have put a team of my other relatives in place who will ask that person to leave if any drama starts.  I have also notified the security at my venue of the possible issue.  I don’t think anything will happen as it is a public place with so many people around, but I’m having a Plan B there just in case.  I also have a feeling that this person probably won’t even show to my wedding since they are usually rude and inconsiderate anyway.

    Post # 8
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @Rockwell:  I also have a relative who has put me in this situation.  I’m inviting that relative to be the “bigger person”, but I have put a team of my other relatives in place who will ask that person to leave if any drama starts.  I have also notified the security at my venue of the possible issue.  I don’t think anything will happen as it is a public place with so many people around, but I’m having a Plan B there just in case.  I also have a feeling that this person probably won’t even show to my wedding since they are usually rude and inconsiderate anyway.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Tough call, but I went with do not invite.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think you made the right choice for your day! I hope it goes well!! Congrats!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee

    Wow, that really sucks. It’s really sad that she’s put a total asshole before her best friend and your family. 🙁 It’s a really unfortunate situation.

    In my opinion, I think you should invite them and be the bigger person, that way their childishness is just spotlighted and you’re not playing their game. If it would really ruin your day to have them as guests, then don’t, but if you can handle it and be okay with the situation, I think it would be a good idea to be cordial and adults.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Does your Fiance remember that they did that plus 1 with u 2?? Oh well. I understand the whole Fiance has a friend for 20 years thing!!sigh.My fiance has a friend who only contacts him for money or rides. I got so pissed at my Fiance for helping this guy!! This man/boy doesnt drive neither does his wife. He makes more then my Fiance but keeps asking for money, then when my Fiance says u make more money then I do, this friend says well I have a bigger apartment costs. Which is bull!! If u cant afford your apartment, u are obviously in the wrong aortment. Move to a cheaper place!!! And another example of this mans stupidity.He went to the zoo by bus with his wifes neice and then texted my Fiance and told him that he spent all his money at the zoo that was supposed to go to the bus ride home!!!! Who the hell does that?!?! My Fiance says its mainly the wife telling her man to text for help, but still, u are using your friend because supposedly your wife is bugging u to beg for help!! U want another example?? This man owes my Fiance money, but guess what the man and his wifey do??They called up my Fiance and asked him if he could help them move a big flat screen tv that they just bought!!!!!!!!! U owe my man money and u spend your money on a freakin flatscreen tv and then u have the audacity to ask him to help u move it?!?!?!?! I was so pissed when I found out. My Fiance is sometimes too much of a nice guy. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but when people start using u over and over and over again, and u allow it, then u have to toughen up!!!Im sick of these people!! Sorry for hyjacking your thread. Guess I have been bottling that up for awhile. Can u tell Im upset??lol

    Im tired of my Fiance being used by this leach and his woman.

    Whatever u do I hope for the best for u!

    The topic ‘Not seeing eye to eye with FI and need advice. *long*’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors