Post # 1
I thought sending wedding thank you cards were a given. I’ve always received them. I sent mine out, 2 weeks after we got back from our honeymoon.
I casually asked the girl next to me at work, how she was getting on with the wedding thank you cards. She got married 5 weeks ago.
I was gobsmacked when she said she wasn’t sending any. She said she had thanked everyone at the wedding and she was taking certain people out for a meal to thank them. She then said she wasn’t spending any more money on the wedding.
I told her it was pretty standard and how would people know they had received the present. Oh btw they asked for money- had a ‘cute’ poem on their website and a wishing well. So she’s been given all this money and won’t thank people.
Has this happened to you? Have you ever been to a wedding and not been sent a thank you? Are standards slipping these days?
Then the bride, told me that it must be a white person thing to send thank you notes. So odd.
Post # 2
I was a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding. I got a thank you card for being in the wedding, but we never received a thank you card for our gift, nor did my mom who threw her a bridal shower. I think it’s beyond tacky. I would have even appreciated a thank you email if money were an issue.
Post # 3
FutureMrsBex : exactly, I would at least send an email. It’s beyond tacky!!
She has plenty of money. She got given a whole lot remember.
She just made me feel stupid for suggesting it.
She also said I believe in thank yous since I had a traditional church wedding and my husband is English. That’s not the case
Post # 4
I think thank you cards must be a regional thing, or possibly it runs in circles?
But I have ltierally never received a thankyou card after a wedding. In fact I can only think of one event EVER where we recieved one (an engagement party) and they come from a very traditional family.
We tend to just say thankyou in person – either when they give you the gift or whenever you see them nex t. Or if something’s been mailed I’ll send/receive a quick text saying that it has arrived and thankyou.
I’m in Australia by the way.
ETA: I do think it’s incredibly rude to not acknowledge it at all, but I don’t think an actual “thankyou card” is necessary.
Post # 5
littlemisspetite : I’m from New Zealand. Always get thank you cards. I’m pretty sure people would be offended if I didn’t . especially older guests
Post # 6
I attended a wedding a few year’s ago for a friend’s daughter. The bride’s aunt was supposed to get the food together and served for the reception. She never showed up, so the MOB was in a panic about what to do. I sent my husband home to get roasting pans to warm the food in and then another lady and I out all the food out. We refilled the dishes and then cleaned up. I gave a nice gift to the couple.
Never got a thank you from either of them.
Post # 7
Good friends of mine got married a few years ago, they had a wishing well (not mentioned in the invite, was just there for cards) and we gave several hundred dollars in their gift, plus I made a hand drawn piece of art with it – no thank you, no acknowledgement, nothing… BEYOND rude. I still can’t believe it, I made damn sure after my own wedding that I thanked every single couple/guest for their attendance and if they gave a gift, for that gift too. In cards I had designed and printed myself. Thank you cards are definitely necessary, and not a ‘white person’ thing – surely just a well mannered person thing!?
Post # 8
PaperQueen : unbelievable!! Did they even thank you in person?
Post # 9
missviolet92 : I’ve been to two weddings, baby shower two bridal showers in the past two years and have yet to receive a thank you card. We were late sending out wedding thank you cards because we were waiting on the photos from our photographer but my bridal shower and baby shower thank you cards were sent out promptly after the events. I think the etiquette is beginning to slip..
Post # 10
we Didn’t spend a ton of like customized thank you card with pictures from the wedding or anything but we sent everyone a thank you card with a personalized note. It hardly cost us anything, I could understand I guess not realizing she needed to send them but to say she refuses to spend more money is just crazy.
I did attend a couple wedding of family members and they didn’t send thank you cards but I genuinely don’t think they knew it was a thing, so I didn’t really care
Post # 11
missviolet92 : The bride didn’t. She did tell me a few month’s later that she had used the gift and liked it a lot. MOB did that night, but also said she would be thanking me with a gift later. I didn’t need a thank you gift, but a thank you would have been nice. I saved her butt that night.
Post # 12
It used to be that thank you cards were a given. Is it a generational thing? The last 2 weddings I attended (millennials getting married) the couple did not send out thank you cards. Instead they said thank you to me in person the next time I saw them. I wonder how they thank people who live far away? By text?
Post # 13
Im also in Australia and I’d say I receive thank you cards about 50% of the time.
FWIW I sent them (for my wedding, baby gifts etc) and they were very well received. I guess because it’s becoming less common to send them people are pleasantly surprised?!
Post # 14
I find such entitlement to be revolting and classless. Her parents did a craptastic job of raising her.
Post # 15
It would depend on the circumstances for me. I attended one wedding two years ago that had over 200 guests. We gave them a $50 and a card…. We never received a thank you card, part of me thinks its because we somehow got lost in the mix of that many guests, the other part of me thinks they had zero ambition to tackle 200 something thank you notes, names, addresses, etc. And I cant say I blame them thats just a h*’ll of a lot to keep track of.
We had a small wedding of 40 something people, I had my thank you notes done within a day or two after coming back from our honeymoon….
I would expect a thank you note, but im also not the kind of person to completely hold a grudge over something like that.