- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017
Lawd I would have been disowned if I didnʻt send thank you cards for Christmas, Birthdays, let alone my wedding. I spent HOURS making sure I had the list right for who gifted what, who threw/attended what, etc, so that the thank you cards that I spent DAYS on would mention the exact effort I was given by individuals. It feels like the right thing to do. I wasnʻt entitled to their time and money, they gave me those things out of love, I should acknowlege that.
I flew all the way to GREECE for a wedding in September last year and did not recieve a thank you. The couple asked for no gifts but we did spend thousands of dollars to be there. I couldn’t beleive that they didn’t send one. There was only like 40 guest. Mind you this was the couple that had the entire glossy magazine as a save the date and the nicest wedding invitation I have ever seen! They couldn’t take the effort to write thank you for coming?
And yes, I judge, too bad so sad. I am happy to say that I’ve received thank you notes for all the events to which I’ve brought gifts. The couples range in income level, so it has nothing to do with money. It’s all about Class, and class is not dependent on income. It’s the atmosphere in which the individual was raised. A lot of people these days have been brought up to feel that they deserve gifts, people owe them obeisance. My SIL didn’t have her kids write thank you notes until my daughter started writing them at the age of 4. Overindulged kids turn into entitled adults.
In my area it’s pretty standard to send thank you notes within a few months. I was a little taken aback by my best friend’s aunt’s wedding – our families are extremely close, I attended her bachelorette and my fiance and I were invited to their ceremony only (they did a small reception for immediate family and friends) – we got them a lovely hundred-dollar bottle of whiskey but never received a verbal or paper thank you for. It’s been 10 months and I’ve seen the brides several times since.
It would be almost impossible to handwrite a thank you note to all 800 guests. We thank guests during the speech and in person at the wedding.
It may be a ‘how you were raised’ thing. My shower hasnt happened yet and I’ve sent thank yous for the 3 gifts we’ve received, sent thank yous to our parents and siblings for their help with bigs things like moving a few months back.
My grandmother told me that if we didnt send thank yous, we’d stop getting gifts (and she followed thru with that threat to a few cousins). Either way, I know people are working hard to make things happen for us and I want to make sure they get thanked and feel appreciated… *Also how my mother raised me.
Feel free to judge me, each to their own, but I have never once written a thank you card, however, I have called friends or seen them in person, a few days later after every birthday or Christmas present and thanked them personally then. I much prefer to speak to people. It’s not about cost, its that when I regularly speak or see people I nor my friends see the need. Does that mean I’m ungrateful or entitled? I don’t think so because I’ve already thanked people personally, they have seen my smile at the thought of their gift, or heard the gratitude in my voice, it’s much more personal than a card that has in my opinion zero emotion or heart behind it whereas a phone call does.
I’m also from NZ but I have never received a thank you card from any of the weddings I have attended. Maybe it’s more of a social circle thing.
I didn’t send any thank you cards, but I did make sure to meet up with every guest after the wedding and buy them a meal to thank them. We just thought that would be better then cards but after reading the comments here maybe I should’ve have just sent cards instead?
I find cards quite impersonal and much prefer the personal approach of actually speaking to people in person, but that’s apparently a massive no no because it’s not an inanimate piece of folded cardboard that I’ve written in. 🙄