Post # 1
my fi is one of 4 brothers, he individual speaks to all 3 of his brothers but its not the same for the other three. lets call them A,B & C
brother A – the eldest has been pushed out of the family by everyone apart from my fi and brother C, he refuses to apologies to his parents but iom he is not the one how need to apologies and he can’t stand to be in the same room as his parents and has declined our invite… i;m currently trying to come up with ways for him to be involved, i’m thinking a meal beforehand and asking to come to the church as my guest, sit with my family and he can slip away once the ceremony is over, so he gets to see his brother get married.
brother B – the miserable one imo and doesn’t really have much to do with anyone even tho fi does try, he and brother A have a mutual hatered for each other (this hatered being the cause of the family break down in the first place.
brother C (youngest) and brother A are very close but neither with brother B.
fi wants them all there but one want come if the other is and one wont come if the other doesn’t
do i just send them invites and see what turns up oi just don’t know fi is so upset over all this, he looks at me and my brother in envy of what we do for each other and gets upset.
anyone going through a simliar problem with advise, please note none of them are trouble makers but thats not to say something won’t happen if all are forced to be together. fmil insists she not to blame and i get sick of hearing the excuse and feel like not inviting any of them or eloping when i talk to her.
Post # 3
I am so sorry to hear you and Fiance are going through this. Ugh. Family drama stinks.
I do have to deal with some family members who do not get along and will have to co-exist at the wedding, but nothing to that extent.
I would suggest talking to each brother and finding some sort of way they could all come- sit in different places at the ceremony to be able to witness the ceremony…and maybe just brother C and A could come to the reception?
Post # 4
I am so sorry! We have a family too. My family was able to attend and be civil, but if that’s not the case, do what your Fiance most wants. If he would hope for his brothers to all be there, invite them and be sure they know they are welcome to sit where ever they are comfortable, even if that is to arrive a bit late and sit in the back. Inviting him to sit with your family is such a kind idea and I think you should at least offer.
All you can do is be as open and inviting to each brother as you can, and let them know how very much their brother (your FI) wants them there.
Post # 6
It sounds like brother B is the problem. Does B and C get along with his parents/family?
I think you, more so your Fiance, should tell them to grow up and just deal with each other for a single day and then go back to hating each other. Or, they dont even have to deal with each other, dont talk to each other or dont even look in the others direction, dont do even acknowledge each others presence for all it matters, and just focus on the wedding at hand.
Post # 7
Invite them all and see what gives. Also offer to have them sit wherever they want, including with your family if they choose to do so. If they do not show up, it’s no biggie. Your Fiance will survive. You are there to support him emotionally.
Post # 8
@pinkshoes:no brother B doesn’t have much to do with his parents at all, brother C does but it’s hit and miss one day they are speaking te next day they don’t