- 3 weeks ago
- Wedding: June 2020 - City, State
My brother is getting married in 2 years and some change. (He is 28)
I am getting married in just over 8 months. (I’m almost 30)
I have a question to come after the following, he’s driving me nuts:
-My brother trying to get us to change our date because our parents can’t afford two weddings in one year (We are pretty much paying for our wedding on our own because we are in the financial ability to do so. We have asked very little of my parents. He and his “fiancee” are not living on their own (they live with her mom) and aren’t stable so they aren’t getting married until 2021). The date we chose is very important to my fiance and we put our foot down
-This was followed by crying to my mother after I told him it’s typically the family of the bride who pays for a wedding, about how insensitive I was. He’s been with this girl for two years and I don’t know her at all. I didn’t know her family was in financial ruin, how was I supposed to know? I ended up apologizing for this because I have been conditioned to do so. I am the “Meg” of my family (that’s the way my fiance describes it when we are family get togethers, because I take so much cr*p from everyone, without real reason). I regret it.
-Crying to our mother that my fiance and I stole thier thunder by getting engaged a few days after them. My brother planned a random date to get engaged knowing full well my fiance was planning to propose on our anniversary three days later. He tried to get me to tell my fiance “no” so he could have a “week in the spotlight”
-More recently he has been talking about not coming to the rehersal dinner of my wedding, and he and his “fiancee” will just drop by my wedding then going home.
-A few nights ago he asked for his wedding present early. A couple hundred dollars my fiance and I promised him for their engagement photos to be done. We were under the impression we would give this gift after we got married for obvious reasons (Again, they aren’t getting married for two years)
-Finally, he seems to be going through my social media with a fine tooth comb. He’s been asking questions about our personal life not as a “brother” but more like he is snooping for information about our finances. We are selling our house and buying a new one to prepare for a family, and he has been asking very innapropriate questions about it. It got to the point I have him and his fiance blocked from seeing what I post (I don’t have thier accounts blocked, just set so they can’t see future posts)
He doesn’t contact me unless he wants something or he has something nasty to rude to say. I have no support from my mom who doesn’t want to be in the middle of it but is more than happy to stir the pot.
I am at a loss.
My fiance wants to have a “come to Jesus” meeting with my brother, but I am hesitant to let him because he’s been holding his tongue through all of this.
What should I do? I am feeling hurt and lost.