Post # 1
I was talking with a friend the other day about how much of an awful cook I am. My mum and I always joked that I would have to be with a man who can cook otherwise I’d starve. So I was telling my friend how lucky I am that my SO loves cooking and she just said ‘is he gay?’. To be honest, I never would have thought the fact that he cooks and I don’t was the most interesting/strange aspect of our relationship! (he has long hair, I have short hair for a start! Haha)
Anyways, it got me wondering if we really are all that strange because of this “role reversal”? We also have pretty ‘modern’ ideas about who should do what in a household but I never thought it was anything groundbreaking. Anyone else out there who questions the norm with their relationship?
Post # 3
Does your friend realise that most chefs are male?
I don’t think you are strange but I do think your friend has strange views given the outdated thinking she has.
I don’t care what anyone else does in their household/relationship in terms of chores and we do what works best for us.
Post # 4
@j_jaye: Oh, I totally agree! I was going to point that out to her but I was just so amused by that thought that we were odd haha.
Post # 5
Lol, I married Mr Wonderful.
He cooks, he cleans, he takes out the garbage, maintains the cars, and cuts the grass.
I do a bit of odds and ends… Recycling – Laundry – Baking – Putzing around in the Kitchen
But in all honesty, my primary job around the house seems to be research, planning & organization of what we will do next (a hold over from my career) … be that at home, or where we will travel to (we are semi-retired)
He says he is happy with this arrangement because he was single for so many years before he met me and so he’s used to doing for himself… and according to him, I bring a ton of other good qualities to our relationship… like I truly deeply CARE about him, and LOVE him 100% no matter what !!
Plus we never argue, fight or barely ever even disagree. We spend almost 24/7×365 together and we never tire of each other. We are each other’s best friend. And truly enjoy each other’s company… it is nice to have someone who you can have an intelligent conversation with on ANY topic !!
He’s an absolute doll… I am one lucky girl (and I know & appreciate it).
Lol, think I’ll keep him awhile longer *HUGE Grin*
Post # 6
Eh, not really. I do more cooking and cleaning than he does, but most of it is for me haha. We cook many of our own meals individually because we’re frequently not hungry for the same thing or at the same time. We do our own laundries, etc. My main “girl thing” I always do is the dishes, he takes out the garbage. So I guess we’re traditional in that way.
Post # 7
@This Time Round: So sweet!
My Fiance does almost all of the cooking, cleaning, and other household chores. We work together (I’m a lawyer and he’s a paralegal), but when we have kids he’ll be the primary caregiver (and I’ll continue to be the primary breadwinnder).
I don’t think there’s anything about our relationship that fits into the traditional gender stereotypes, and I don’t think either of us would be happy in the traditional roles for our gender.
Post # 8
@PinkBubbles: If you’re looking for another paralegal intern I know someone who is looking for a job in the Detroit area. 😛 JK. However, I do think it’s amusing that you’re the lawyer and he’s the paralegal. My SO always worries I’ll fall for a lawyer. It’s cute to see that it actually happened and worked for you two.
@Dogsbody92: My SO and I stay pretty traditional. My stepmom, who did a majority of the raising of me, pretty much taught me that ifyou didn’t cook, clean and pop out a kid, you were a worthless woman. I’ve gotten over most of that, but I actually enjoy cleaning (it’s relaxing) and cooking is so much fun. I think I’ll be waiting a few years to pop out a kid (maybe a decade).
SO does almost all of the driving. And he cleans the dishes while I’m preparing dinner so he can be useful and spend time with me while I cook, so that’s nice…
Post # 9
We’re pretty traditional: he works long hours, takes care of lawn and car maintenance, grills in the summer, does most of the driving when we’re out together. I worked PT until recently (now I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife and soon-to-be SAHM), I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry. I buy groceries and run most of our errands.
I just wanted to say I would have NO issues with Darling Husband cooking for me all the time. 🙂
Post # 10
My Darling Husband cooks, cleans, does laundry, does dishes, etc etc. He doesn’t mind doing these things at all, and I’m grateful to him. I wouldn’t think him ‘gay’ just because he knows how to bake chicken. That’s odd of your friend to say. 😛
Post # 11
we each have our strengths and play to those regardless of if it’s a traditional gender role or not. I wish my Fiance could (and would) cook! I must say I do miss that about all my exes – they all cooked (and were good!) so I didn’t have to!
Post # 12
@Dogsbody92: Well, I am in the same boat in many ways….
My Fiance is a better cook for most things (though I could chicken/fish better), he cleans more often, actually folds and puts away his laundry neatly (I leave mine in a pile) and is more “domestic” in general. I attribute it to the way his mother (single-mom) raised him.
I am also the primary money maker (I make about twice what he makes right now) and I work a lot, so he helps out around the house. Luckily, my guy is not worried about the dynamics and we treat responsibilities, finances etc as “ours.”
Post # 13
Hm…I guess we generally follow traditional gender roles at home, although both of us are more than happy to step in with the other tasks. I cook because the food ends up healthier that way. Darling Husband does things outdoors, mostly because I was pregnant when we moved in and now I’ve got a little guy. I’ll pitch in more outside this summer, though. I usually put things together (build furniture or fix broken lawn care equipment) because it makes Darling Husband frustrated. I generally do laundry/cleaning, although Darling Husband happily does it if asked (well, maybe not happily, but I don’t have to nag).
I love to bake, and he hates it, so that’s mine, too! But it’s not so much a “responsibility” because it doesn’t have to be done.
However, when we first started dating, I was really busy with school and he wasn’t, so he did a lot of the cooking early in the relationship, which was nice.
Post # 14
Hubby and I split household duties equally. For example, I do the laundry, he folds the clothings and hangs them, I will cook (he is learning along side me but makes awesome pasta), he always volunteers to wash the dishes, he takes the trash and recycling out. We do groceries together as well as walking out puppy together (except for the mornings since he lets me sleep).
Post # 15
We have pretty traditional roles – I think ladies should take pride in taking care of their men. I do laundry, clean, walk the dog, decorate, cook, etc. There is nothing better than being able to have a yummy dinner on the table and a clean house ready for SO when he gets home.
I’m fortunate enough to work from home for most of the week, and even if I do go into the office it’s usually for a half day. SO makes a great living and takes care of most of the “big” expenses (mortgage, bills) and I’ll probably be a Stay-At-Home Mom when we’re ready for kids. There is something that I find so sexy about running the house 😉 I guess I love embracing our traditional gender roles.
Post # 16
I would say we mostly don’t fit the stereotypes at all.
We do the chores etc. that we are each best at/enjoy doing, and much of the time those are not as according to our so-called gender roles. For example, my Fiance is the genius in the kitchen 🙂 He is also neater than I am (very neat indeed… I’m just normal) so he tends to do more of the household chores and I am the one “helping him”, just trying to do my best effort to contribute my part, too.
I like to sew… and my Fiance carries the heavy things. Off the top of my head, those are the only things I can think of that fit the stereotypes.