(Closed) not speaking to fiance’s parents

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

i’m sorry you have to deal with this. I would say send it that way no matter what happens you know that you both took the high road and they cant say anything about it

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Take the high road and send an invite. That way they can’t come back to you later and use this as more ammunition against you in the future. If they don’t come, that’s their loss! 

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think that since its his parents, he should be the deciding factor. Would you really, honestly want these people at your wedding? I mean, if he doesn’t want to invite them, wouldn’t he be pissed at you if you did and they came and then ruined things?

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

But their actions caused them to not be invited. You shouldn’t feel guilty because years from now they might potentially maybe pull their heads out of their asses and be normal parents. Its slim to none that it would happen. Do what your Fiance wishes, and leave it at that. He knows his parents better than you, and for him to say he doesn’t want them there, speaks volumes to me

Post # 8
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I know that you might get a ton of responses telling you to “take the high road” and they might be right.. if you were ever to try and bond with his parents in the future this might be sort of an olive branch. However, my Fiance doesn’t talk to his parents.. for different reasons. And he believes that sending them an invite would just be like stirring the pot.. and opening a can of worms. I trust his judgment of his parents because he knows them better than I do. So if your Fiance doesn’t want to invite them, I say listen to him. 

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@sterlingncran: You stay out of it. If he doesn’t want to send one then you stand by him. Don’t add yourself to the group of people that don’t support him

Post # 10
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with the PPs that say stick by your FI’s decision. They’re his family, and if that’s how he wishes to proceed, then go with him. I don’t speak to my father, and if Mr.ND felt the need to invite him, we’d have a long talk about it first and I would expect him to respect my choice not to.

I’m not saying that you’d go behind his back or anything, but sometimes taking the high road leads to more disruption than just letting the issue be. 

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

His parents, his decisions.  (Be sure to save them an invite off to the side in case he changes his mind though ….)

Post # 13
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am going through a similar situation right now with Fi’s family not speaking with us due to our engagment- never thought they had a problem before we got engaged they were awesome- now things are horrible!!

I say be the bigger person and send the invite- if they get it and don’t want it you will never be at fault for not sending it.. and if things turn around before the big day then they are included in the guestlist…

 

best of luck!

Post # 14
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sterlingncran: Send the invite…Worse they can say is they are not coming

 

Post # 15
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Don’t do it. Don’t stir the pot, as it were. They know that he’s getting married, and they’re choosing not to be involved. It is his decision, he’s come to it after ages of abusive behavior, let him have the control here.

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