not spoken to my husband for more than a month

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Neither of you are doing much of anything to salvage this marriage. It sounds like it’s over.

Post # 5
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Unfortunately, if he is unwilling to talk then the marriage is over. You cannot fix a relationship if one of you is refusing to be present and involved. What was the reason you left to your parent’s home and what were the misunderstandings?

I would not stay in this marriage if I were you even if he does get involved again. Going silent for a month is inexcusable in a marriage though it also matters to know why you left. I would save yourself from future grief and look into legal measures now for annulling the marriage. This marriage doesn’t show any example of being a healthy one especially for just starting out. Depending where you live, an annulment may still be possible.

 

Post # 6
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

slothbear :  how did you pick that up on just that one post? surprised seriously impressed with your Sherlock Holmes skills

Post # 7
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

If he won’t talk then how can it be fixed? 

Post # 8
Member
13684 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you tried calling in the 40 days?  It sounds like you’re just waiting for him to call.  Fight for your marriage if you want to save it.  If not, begin separation procedures.

Post # 11
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

If it was arranged by your families, I would have thought it was their place also to mediate in a situation like this? Can your mum go to his family to talk to them?

Post # 12
Member
531 posts
Busy bee

apollo :  Before I saw her username (which sounds South Asian), I read her post and it had a tone that just sounded so similar to stories I’ve heard where the woman has an arranged marriage, something goes sour with the new husband because the two barely ever got a chance to know each other, and then the woman has to return to her father’s home. Not all arranged marriages are like this but it’s not uncommon unfortunately. And then I saw her username, so I figured that’s what it must be.

OP, I really think you should look into annulment if there was a legal marriage done. If it was a religious ceremony only, then perhaps you should look into how the divorce proceedings are done. No one deserves to be treated like this, be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage.

There’s no point in trying to win over someone who has this much disrespect for another person. We don’t know who was at fault for this misunderstanding, but I think the best thing now would be to cut your losses. Finances don’t matter more than your dignity. Please reach out to a trusted family member or close friend who will help you and not judge or blame. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

ananyram :  I’m going to give you some very “tough love” based advice. I don’t know the context of the initial argument between you and your husband, so I can’t comment there. I’m assuming that this was just a bad argument but that it has nothing to do with abuse, infidelity, and the like. If that assumption I’m making is correct, you are 1000% wrong and out of line for your actions. 

You left the marital home. You walked out. And moved in with your parents, which brings shame and embarrassment to any man no matter what culture you’re from. And then you are surprised your husband doesn’t want to talk to you? You should have stayed in your home together and fought it out until the issue was resolved. You don’t pick up and run back to mom when your marriage gets tough. He doesn’t want to talk to you, and I understand why. Because you’ve shown yourself to be an unreliable partner, and somebody he can’t depend on.

You need to be an adult. Arguments between you and your husband will happen. Things will get tough. But you don’t leave…especially for an extended period of time like this. Honestly, the damage to your marriage maybe permanent. But if you want to save whatever is left of your marriage and continue being married to this man, I suggest you start out by moving back into your marital home and apologising that you left your husband as soon as things between you and him became difficult.

Start fighting to make your marriage work, instead of leaving at the first sight of trouble. Tough love. *hugs* With that being said, I am very sorry that you’re hurt but you’ve got to learn how to handle arguments (which will happen from time to time in any relationship- even good ones) with more maturity and wisdom. Good luck. xoxo 

Post # 15
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I dunno, I agree with bluecutie. Moving home to your parents house is not the way to deal with an arguement, its a way to end a relationship. 

 

 

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