MemberI went to a ornament/gift exchange today with my future mother and sister in-law. And when I was introduced to the other ladies as the fiance, one lady told me that she won’t congratulate me, because she said only the groom is supposed to be congratulated. Huh?? Has anyone heard of this?
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MemberI have heard that the groom gets congratulations and the bride gets best wishes. I think that is old fashioned etiquette though.
MemberAbsolutely incorrect. No clue where this woman is getting her info from because she is very wrong. If anything, it’s rude to not congratulate the bride. At least now you know who your true friends are.
Either way, congratulations and best wishes are the same thing.
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MemberI’ve heard that. According to Miss Manners, “it is a breach of good manners to congratulate a bride on having secured a husband.”
ETA: That was in the 2000 update. Not that I think it’s a big deal either way, but there is a reason some people feel that you shouldn’t congratulate the bride.
MemberIt’s old. You are suppose to say “Best Wishes” to the woman and Congrats to the man. Saying congrats to the woman somehow implies that she FINALLY found a man when the man should be the one being congratulated for finding the woman of his dreams. It’s old etiquette.
MemberYes, I’ve heard of that. In Victorian times, it was considered rude to congratulate the bride, because it made it sound like she was “lucky” to have actually gotten someone to ask her to marry her. Even if it was true, you would never suggest that a woman couldn’t get a husband without luck or trickery. On the other hand, it was appropriate to congratulate the groom, because he’s the lucky man who won the woman’s hand and heart. He was lucky she said yes when he asked.
It was expected that when a man started courting a woman that he intended to ask her to marry him, so she doesn’t need to be congratulated for having caught her man. She didn’t have to put any work into it. However, there’s no guarantee that she would say yes, so the man deserves to be congratulated. He had to work hard to convince her that he was the right man.
MemberThanks for clearing that up for me. It was an older lady that said it, and I took offense to it (but kept a smile, of course), but now I see that she was actually being polite. Weird, but oh well, good to know anyway!
MemberSo silly and way oldschool! I know someone who actually got offended when women posted facebook congratulations upon her recent engagement. Really?!
MemberI have about 80 “congrats!” on my FB. bunch of rude people. ^_^
MemberMemberi have heard of this because a similar thread was started a few months back with someone asking if this was true.
MemberNobody congratulated me on my engagement. Perfect!
MemberThe topic ‘Not supposed to congratulate the bride??’ is closed to new replies.