(Closed) Not supposed to congratulate the bride??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

No…that’s kind of weird!

Post # 4
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have heard that the groom gets congratulations and the bride gets best wishes.  I think that is old fashioned etiquette though.

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Absolutely incorrect. No clue where this woman is getting her info from because she is very wrong. If anything, it’s rude to not congratulate the bride. At least now you know who your true friends are.

Either way, congratulations and best wishes are the same thing.

Post # 6
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ember78: No, actually it is very true. It’s very old etiquette though, and isn’t the end of the world if you do it, but best wishes goes to the bride, and congrats go to the groom 🙂

Post # 7
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve heard that. According to Miss Manners, “it is a breach of good manners to congratulate a bride on having secured a husband.”

ETA: That was in the 2000 update. Not that I think it’s a big deal either way, but there is a reason some people feel that you shouldn’t congratulate the bride.

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s old. You are suppose to say “Best Wishes” to the woman and Congrats to the man. Saying congrats to the woman somehow implies that she FINALLY found a man when the man should be the one being congratulated for finding the woman of his dreams. It’s old etiquette. 

Post # 9
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yes, I’ve heard of that.  In Victorian times, it was considered rude to congratulate the bride, because it made it sound like she was “lucky” to have actually gotten someone to ask her to marry her.  Even if it was true, you would never suggest that a woman couldn’t get a husband without luck or trickery. On the other hand, it was appropriate to congratulate the groom, because he’s the lucky man who won the woman’s hand and heart. He was lucky she said yes when he asked.

It was expected that when a man started courting a woman that he intended to ask her to marry him, so she doesn’t need to be congratulated for having caught her man. She didn’t have to put any work into it. However, there’s no guarantee that she would say yes, so the man deserves to be congratulated. He had to work hard to convince her that he was the right man.

Post # 11
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So silly and way oldschool!  I know someone who actually got offended when women posted facebook congratulations upon her recent engagement.  Really?!

Post # 12
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have about 80 “congrats!” on my FB. bunch of rude people. ^_^

Post # 13
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@Miss Tattoo: Maybe they just think you’re lucky to catch Mr. Tat 😛

Post # 14
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i have heard of this because a similar thread was started a few months back with someone asking if this was true.

Post # 15
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nobody congratulated me on my engagement.  Perfect!

Post # 16
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Miss Tattoo:  How dare they congratulate you!!!   I would unfriend them all!   LOL!!

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