(Closed) Not sure how to chose an engagement ring

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
2755 posts
Sugar bee

First off, whoever told you quad cut diamonds are socially unacceptable is a douchebag. I’ve seen a number of quad cuts and clusters that are outstandingly beautiful! I’d never judge someone for having one, so if that’s what you are leaning towards then go for it lady!

Why don’t you two try hammering out a budget first. Decide on a budget, then go shopping around some local jewelry stores with that budget in mind and just try on rings ONLY within your budget. I’m sure you’ll find something that speaks to your heart that way.

You can also try going the route of a higher-quality CZ until you two can afford something with a diamond/sapphire down the road. This is also a good way to make sure you like the setting/stone type before throwing down a huge chunk of change on it.

Post # 4
2755 posts
Sugar bee

Also: CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement ๐Ÿ™‚ And welcome to the Bee!

Post # 5
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

What’s wrong with a quad cut ring?  You’re the one seeing it every day, so who cares what other people think!  It’s not my personal style, but that’s why they make so many different styles of ring, everyone’s got different preferences.  I got a mokume gane ring, and that’s because my fiance and I wanted something that reflects my heritage. 

You fell in love with a ring, so go back to the store and try it on again.  If you can see yourself wearing it for the rest of your life, then you’re good to go ๐Ÿ™‚  Same goes for the stone.  There’s no right answer of diamond, created stone, colored gemstone, whatever.  It’s what YOU love and what speaks to you.

Post # 7
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We chose my ring together by going to jewelry stores together and I looked online everywhere that I could think of. I found a ring that I really loved and kept going back to it online and in person. 

As for quad cuts, no, not everyone likes them, but if YOU like them, get one! You’re the one wearing it for the rest of your life, not anyone else.

Post # 8
63 posts
Worker bee

Here’s how I figured out what I liked:

1) Figure out the budget you’re working with.

2) Figure out if you want something colored or colorless. What do you want to wear for the rest of your life? 

3) Figure out, based on your budget and color preference, what options are available to you: diamond, gemstone, moissanite, diamond alternative, etc.

3) Do a lot of research online. Search the boards here, look at all of the different styles, and save pictures of the ones you like. Look at different stones AND settings.

4) After you have an idea of what you might like, go to a jeweler and try try try. I went to pretty much every jeweler in my area, more than once, to try on different ring styles. I totally though I wanted a cushion halo based on the pictures I saw online, but it ended up not looking as great on my finger. So make sure you try things on! Even if it’s just stopping in the jeweler while you’re at the mall!

5) Get your SO in on it. After I had a good idea of what I liked, I talked to my SO about what he liked. Luckily, we’re on the same page.


Let us know how it goes! Hope this helped!


Post # 10
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

When I got married, we didn’t have enough money to purchase an engagement ring and set up housekeeping too.  We opted for plain white gold bands which we still have today.  On our one year wedding anniversary, I got a .5 tcw round brilliant solitaire.  We bought it from a local jeweler with options to trade up.  Over the years, I have traded up three times.  My husband and I, now, wear white gold channel set diamond wedding bands and my engagement ring is a 3 stone diamond ring.  (Oval center with pear side stones)  Sometimes I still wear my original wedding band stacked with other diamond bands collected over the years, to achieve a different look.  I don’t think you have to start out with an engagement ring.  For us, we started with plain white gold bands and had fun, over the years, adding to them.

Post # 11
31 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

It turned out to be pretty easy. I went into the shop and told the woman I didn’t know what I liked or what suited my hand so I’d like to try different things. She took out a huge board or rings from under the counter and asked which one I liked at a glance to try first. I saw one I loved and tried it. None of the others I tried came close so I got it.

You know what you want if you clear your mind and give yourself a chance. Also, the only socially unacceptable thing when it comes to your engagement ring is someone making rude and disparaging remarks.

Post # 12
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I recommend going into stores to try things out. I didn’t even consider looking online, because sometimes the views are just not good, and of course, there’s photoshop and all sorts of editing done.


I knew I wanted a solitaire, but I was more particular about how the ring looked from the sides, than from the top (just because it ALWAYS looks good from the top!). So I went into the stores, and told them this. They were very helpful. I picked out a few settings, and left the diamond up to Darling Husband.


I also think if you want a quad cut diamond, you can damn well have a quad cut diamond.


Post # 13
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Fiance and I did this:

  • Put the finances into play and realized we had about 3K (give or take 4K) to work with


  • Research online. Figure out which of the 4C’s (if you’re getting a diamond) you are willing to skimp on just in case you can’t afford the size you want, or if you want to downgrade the size instead of getting something that doesn’t have the specs you want.


  • I went to BlueNile.com for my first e-ring. It was gorgeous and didn’t break the bank too much. Plus you definitely don’t get the brick and mortar store markup for diamonds. When I went to a jeweler and showed them my 3/4 carat diamond, because of the specs, they said they would sell the same stone for about $6000, when I purchased it for $2100.


  • If you aren’t getting diamond, research alternative stones. A lot of people enjoy moissanite (that’s what my current e-ring is, and it’s gorgeous), it’s considered a forever stone, and the price is a fraction of the cost of a diamond.


  • If you find something you like online, go to a jeweler and see what it would look like on your finger. It’ll always give you the best viewpoint if you see it on your finger.


  • Ask if your Fiance likes your choices because you don’t want to have a ring you absolutely love and Fiance absolutely hates, lol


  • Make sure you don’t stretch your budget too much unless you absolutely can. That was the mistake I made with the first e-ring so I had to return it ๐Ÿ™ It was pretty upsetting.

I really hope you find a great ring! And congrats on your engagement! Welcome to the Bee ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 14
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@CARA1978:  Well the first step is to set a budget, which it sounds like you have sort of done.

Educate yourself on the 4Cs if you want a diamond.

Generally people lean towards a certain style of setting and/or shape of stone. Try rings on to get a feel of what you like, and what looks good.

It is easy to become overwhelmed (believe me, I know!). Sometimes it’s good to take a break from looking, and a particular ring may stick out in your mind.

If you’re not too picky, you could always give some parameters to your Fiance, like “I like round stones, not square, I want platinum not yellow gold” or whatever, and let him come up with the rest.

Go with whatever makes your heart sing. If you like the quad stones, go for it.

Post # 15
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

All I asked of my Fiance was that I wanted an antique!  They can be absolutely stunning and cheaper too. My ring is from the 20s/30’s and we paid less than we would have for a new ring.  Good luck and have fun with it!

The topic ‘Not sure how to chose an engagement ring’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors