- 5 years ago
First, I feel amazing now that I found there´s this website with bees in my same situation; I’ll tell you my story trying to make it simple.
I have been in a serious relationship for almost 6 years; we met in University and over a few months we started dating; at the 3rd month we move in together in my mother’s house (my mother had enough space in her house for us and we used to live 3 females alone, so she was ok better living with him, than seen me leaving the house)
that was when he was 20 and I was 22 we both we’re just poor students but was a great time in our life; now I am 28 (he’s 26) and over the time we graduated from university (we are both engineers); I bought an apartment about two years ago and we started living there; we split all the expenses half and half… we have two cats and we have travel to a lot of countries over the years.
we have talked about getting married many times, but it feels that it wasn’t the right time before, first we we’re too young to get married, then we didn’t have a degree, then we didn’t have a house, then his father was telling him not to marry me and “get a better woman” (yes…this was sad), now he want a better job and a house (under his name), it feels like there’s always a valid reason for not making it.
a few months ago I told him that I wanted to start a family and a real life with him, and that I wont have kids if we’re not married, so I asked what he tought about; his response was to told me “wait until he have the same as I do” (I have a better job than him, and since the apt is under my name he feels he need a property under his name to compensate, since we’re both very competite he’s always trying to prove he can be by my side)
we’re not millonaires, but we both have a pretty decent situation and a beautiful lifestyle, but lately I keep thinking that I’m wasting my time. About two nights ago we talked again and he told me ” I don’t have enough money to buy you a ring or to make a wedding ceremony as you want, so I just can´t” but the truth is, he doesn’t even know what I want, he hasn’t asked me if I am expecting something super fancy or something simple; there is always going to be an excuse to feel short on money, but I feel when you are ready to do it, you just go for it.
I have thought about proposing to him, but I feel everything he does is somehow because of my influence; I really want to see if he can make it alone
I feel really bitter and distant now, I’m not sure anymore if I should keep in this relationship and wait until the “magic time” comes or just move on and try to find someone else
and even if I take the decission to move on, well it’s hard because I love him and we have a great life together, I feel really confused and sad