(Closed) Not sure how to feel about this situation…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

something to think about though is that if she is not paying for these events herself and the cost of the guest list isnt any issue to her than the idea of the cost per guest costing more than the gift does not apply to her. To her its only the idea that more guests equals more gifts.

Post # 18
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the cynics…

Post # 19
Member
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it is jumping to conclusions that she is gift grabbing. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and think along the lines of what tksjewelry said. However, I do not think that you should feel obligated to invite her to your wedding because she invited you to the shower. Also, maybe she invited you to the shower because she wanted to be invited to your wedding… ?

Post # 20
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

amyisnice…you really are nice 🙂 me? not so much 🙁 fail….

Post # 21
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have another perspective because I have similar friends…I have those I’m extremely intimate with and talk to on a regular basis..and i have those I see or hear from once a year.

I considered myself super close with one. She and I have been friends for the longest time..20 years. She’s quiet and so am I, so we both don’t really have much to share when we get together..but we love each other and when we do get to see each other (which is once a year if even that), we do enjoy each other’s company. Neither of us are phone people, so we don’t call. However..i do like knowing that i’m still involved with her life, however big or small.

With that said..you obviously know how your relationship works more than any of us. If your friendship is one you would like to dissolve, then you have every right to so. I would just let your friendship takes its course at this point…RSVP no to the baby shower and let her know you’re not available. I wouldn’t make her feel bad by suggesting she is inviting you for gifts..because that may not be her intention. She might just invited you to share in her joy because you had a history together and thought space separates you, you’re still her friend. In the off chance that’s true..you won’t have to feel bad about being the reason for the failed friendship.

Post # 23
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

If it is an attempt at rekindling your friendship, it’s a pretty lame one. She probably means well, but if she actually wants to reconnect with you it’s going to take more effort than a couple of invitations to major events. It reminds me of people I haven’t seen for a decade who add me on Facebook and then never say anything.

I would probably send a nice card and skip the gift.

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