Post # 1
I wrote a post a few days ago about how anxious I am getting in the waiting game.
SO and I have been together for a year and a half, and we moved in together in August with our mini zoo. In short, I’m getting kind of sick of feeling like his wife, but we had a little talk about picking up pop cans and cleaning the cat boxes, and I think I’m going to get a more help in that area. Plus, I do know that engagement is on the horizon.
The thing is this… Originally we were under the understanding that he does things on his own timetable, but if we were engaged by the time it was time to resign our lease in August, I was not going to continue to live together. Not that it was a “walking” threat by any means, but I would just not continue to live without a solid committment. Lately, I’ve been thinking, and I want to take that off the table. I enjoy living here with him and our animals, and I enjoy the life we’re buidling together. However, I don’t know how to word this without giving the impression that I don’t care when we get engaged, because I do. I just want to take the “timeline” off the table.
Post # 4
Just because you have a timeline doesn’t mean you have to follow it if/when the time comes. Besides, what if you change your mind closer to the date and want to keep the timeline? I think it woud be better to keep it for now (knowing you aren’t that serious about it) and take it away when the time comes if you need to then to possibly jerk your partner around.
Post # 5
@rescuepupmum86: My advice is to explain it to him exactly how you just did. Tell him you love him and the life you have built, that engagement (soon) and marriage is still very important to you, but that you are not ready to walk away from it all just because it may not be exactly when you want it.
Post # 6
@batwoman: I think that is exactly the reason why I want to talk about taking the timeline off the table… I do NOT want to “jerk” him around, or be pushy.
@sillysillybee: That’s more along the lines of what I’m thinking I want to do, I just don’t know how to word it.
Post # 7
@rescuepupmum86: definitely tell him you have changed your mind about moving out but explain you havent changed your mind about wanting marriage. I think you can probably just be honest about it and make sure he understands your wants and needs clearly. Communication is key!
Post # 8
Honey, remember when I said that if we weren’t engaged by the time we signed the lease, that I was going to move out? Well, I wanted to tell you that I love you and the life we live and I’ve changed my mind. I’m not planning on moving out. I don’t want you to feel like I have to have a proposal by August or else I’m out, I don’t want to pressure you like that. I want you to know that a proposal and marriage are still a top priority, but I think it’s something we should discuss together and come to a timeline we both agree on, rather than something that I force out of you with an ultimatum. Can we talk about a timeline we both agree on?
Post # 9
So I talked with him this afternoon, and basically said what @futuremrsk18 said, and he stopped me in my tracks and said, “just don’t worry about it, that’s not an issue…” Being me, I continued on saying that I didn’t want him to feel pressured, or us to have a deadline, etc., and he just did his “rescuecatdad” giggle and said, “TRUST ME! you have nothing to worry about!”
So… that totally made my afternoon! We’re on the same page, and I’m excited to see what the next few months bring!!