- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
As for this situation I was ready to say “screw her” and move on, but then I got caught up in the forums and seeing how well you all give advice made me think more about this situation and how maybe I should seek another opinion because I might not know it all like I like to think…
A little background infomation..I don’t have a lot of friends. I have a few very close friends that I have known for a long time(one friend I’ve known since second grade who gives me no problems, and two who I’ve known since 7th grade which hadn’t given me any problems up until recently). That’s pretty much it as far as friends go, I have a few good friends I met in the navy, but it’s not the same as my best girl friends. Because of having such a small circle most of my life I don’t deal with drama. These girls are my friends because they don’t bring that to my life. Now there is drama and I don’t know what to do with it.
My two friends since 7th grade and I were going to have a littl reunion slumber party(both friends are married with kids and it’s bee awhile since we’ve been able to hang out just us). Everything was planned and everyone was excited. And then the night before our friend sends us a message saying that her sister is coming into town and she won’t be able to make it. So we tell her we understand and that if anything changes to let us know. Then from facebook we learn that she went to the coast with her husband and son the day that we had our plans for. Which wasn’t a big deal either, it was assumed she went with her sister, but then she posts pictures and they are all of her son and her husband. Which made me think that she was the one taking the pictures and no one else was with them. If I had someone there to get some family pictures I would have handed the camera off. Again this wasn’t even a huge deal, if she had said she wanted to take time with the family I wouldn’t have been upset at her for ditching us. I felt hurt that we’ve all been friends so long and she felt like she had to lie. I ran my feelings by my other friend to get some justification that I wasn’t crazy and then I typed out a message to her because I didn’t want to have ill feelings towards her because of jumping to conflusions without talking to her. I had our other friend read the message to make sure I wasn’t coming off as snarky or mad because really I didn’t want to start drama and I wanted her to have a chance to explain or tell me I was wrong. She replied to my message saying she didn’t even read the whole thing and that she didn’t lie. She could have written the whole message a lot nicer, but I just left it at that because I was angry at the way she chose to respond and didn’t want to make it worse.
Fast forward to me getting engaged and trying to get people’s addresses. I haven’t talked to this friend since the message she didn’t read and still feel a little burned by it, but didn’t want her to be excluded because of something so silly. And I had asked our mutual friend if she had this other friends address because I didn’t feel comfortable messaging her to try to get it. She didn’t have it, but asked her for it and when she told her she needed it because she was helping me with wedding stuff she said “No thanks” and wouldn’t give up her address. And then she unfriended me on facebook. Which wouldn’t be important, but facebook is the only means of communication I have with her because she doesn’t have her own cell phone, and I don’t have her address. I don’t want to put our mutual friend in the middle of it more than I already have. I didn’t realize the address was going to cause such a fuss or I would have waited until I felt right asking her myself.
Initially I was like okay whatever if she can’t be an adult about such petty things then I don’t need her in my life anyway. My Fiance thinks I should just wait it out and she will come around because people don’t just throw away 15 year friendships so quickly, even though I was ready to… I just don’t want to deal with drama or risk creating more of it. I have a feeling if I apologized it would end this real quick, but I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. I shared my feelings with one of my best friends, that shouldn’t have been an issue. Our mutual friend keeps telling me that I didn’t do anything wrong and that it was an overreaction and she shouldn’t have been so mean, but I don’t think our friend sees it the same way.
Sorry that was so long…anyway I just need some advice or opinions. I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing, I’ve had girls try to cause drama, but they were never important girls. I’ve never had to deal with this kind of thing from a good friend. Part of me wants to stick with letting go and being done with her, but the other part feels like this is an awful breakup and I just want the old her back…