Post # 1
My parents separately call me once a week and with the wedding so close they always ask how things are going. They also ask me if I’m fitting into my dress. That means I’m getting two phone calls a week with my parents basically calling me fat.
Since being in grad school I have gained about twenty pounds and I would like to lose it permanently. I’m a size six right now and although Im more comfortable at a 4 I don’t think that warrants constant remarks about my body or my future husbands for that matter (yes they make vague references to that too).
Up until this point I have been indirect but tonight I hit my limit and finally asked my dad why he is asking and what is he trying to say. He said he’s just concerned because I bought it a year ago. I asked him why i must answer the same question every week and told him I don’t appreciate it.
He has started running and has lost a ton of weight and I am genuinely happy for him but that doesn’t mean he needs to turn his nose up at the things I eat (tonight it was meatloaf) and constantly remind me that I’ve gained a little bit of weight. My wedding is in two weeks and I just don’t feel beautiful. My Fiance constantly reassures me and thinks I should be really confrontational next time it happens. It’s just really frustrating because this is supposed to be me and my FI’s time and my parents are making me want to elope. I feel like they get lost in impressing their families and forget that it is me, their daughter getting married.
It also makes me sad because other families I know aren’t like this. My FI’s parents are so loving and supportive and I feel so guilty because I spend way more time with them than my own parents.
I just needed to vent bees. I know what i need to do. Just frustrated and couldn’t sleep.
Post # 3
That is so unfair of them! Honestly I wish I knew a better way of handling it but I don’t. In my early teens my mother made such a big deal about my weight (even sent me to a shrink!) that it actually drove me into disordered eating and sneaking around so I could stuff my face with MORE food. I now look back on photos of myself at the time now and my jaw drops because I look totally. utterly. normal. By the time I had a BMI of 40+ five or so years later I would have killed to be that weight away. Parents always want to do the best for us but sometimes have a funny way of showing it. Hang in there, ignore them and know that you WILL look gorgeous on your wedding day!
Post # 4
thanks for the support. i really appreciate it
Post # 5
My mom in particular does the same thing — talking how we both need to lose weight before the wedding and asking how goes my eating/gym. I ordered my dress the size I needed when I went to get it. They asked if I planned to lose weight and I said “planning and doing are two different things, I probably won’t end up losing any.” I wanted to be safe. It’s now 6 months later and I’m the same weight… I do want to lose it, but its very hard with my medical issues… but yet my mom harps on about it.
So yea, I feel you. I just tell my mom, “its fine, don’t worry about it” and move on.
Post # 6
It’s so funny that I ran across this thread. I literally JUST texted my Fiance with the crap my mother just said to me. I told her that Fiance and I were driving out to the county to get some Chinese food and go to this really popular drive-in ice cream place. “Wow! That diet of yours has really gone to shit, eh?!”.
So, I feel you. I lost 40 lbs and when I went to try on my wedding dress you could definitely tell that it was now too big. Her response that I could always lose more. My Future Mother-In-Law was mortified when my mother said this to me and she actually defended me saying I looked great and happy.
You will be beautiful on your wedding day. Whether your arms jiggle a little, your armpit flab spills over your dress, your dress is a size 20 instead of a 2; WHO CARES?! At the end of the day you are marrying a man who has/will see you at every phase of your life. A beautiful bride is a happy bride! 🙂
P.S- I would kill to be a size 6. Heck, I would kill to be under a size 20.