Not sure how to handle this (Rant)

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
7715 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

bride22bee :  I would not touch her drama with a 10 foot pole. Next time she brings this up just say “thanks for letting me know, we’ll miss you!” and leave it at that. Do not contact any of the people she’s mentioned and do not make any adjustments to your guest list. You should still send her an invitation as that is normal protocol. 

Try not to let it get you down bee….she sounds like a dramamonger with serious entitlement issues.

Post # 3
Member
810 posts
Busy bee

Nope. If your wedding is such an inconvenience to her, she does not need an invite. Don’t waste the time or postage.

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Wow, how rude and entitled. Not your fault she didn’t have a good honeymoon and she can either go or don’t but to guilt you about it and convince other people not to..that’s something. I wouldn’t invite her since she’s made it clear she isn’t going. Who is this person anyway, is she a relation to you?

Post # 6
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

 

Wow. This woman sounds like a complete b.

I wouldn’t send her an invite, and would probably start phasing her out of my life in general. Regarding the other guests, anyone with half a brain knows that their attendance is not required at a destination wedding. Hopefully they see through her tactics and find her contacting them inappropriate. I wouldn’t mention it to anyone unless they bring it up to you first, or you are super close with them.

And, unless you had a years long engagement, and she knew where you were planning to get married and has been holding off on doing something else, she had plenty of time to have her “dream honeymoon.” So I think it’s kind of rude that she would piggyback that off of your wedding *and* tell people about it, especially the bride. Totally fine if she wants to do it, but to call it anything other than “a big trip that we’re centering around your wedding but using to see the rest of the region” makes her sound completely immature.

Post # 7
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ugh she sounds awful…I would not remain friends with someone like her. Sorry I wish I had better advice. You haven’t done anything wrong and I’m honestly not sure what you should do in this situation, whether it’s better to ignore her rude behavior or if you should shut it down. I would be tempted to shut her down in some way. I think if you just respond to her, “no problem if you can’t go you can’t go,” and then just trust that your true friends who planned to attend would not be swayed by her complaints. 

Post # 8
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t send her an invite. If she makes rude comments then you should exit the conversation ASAP or pivot. Hopefully she’ll get the hint that you’re not interested in hearing her manage your guest list. 

Post # 9
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I also would not send her an invitation, since she is making it so clear she can’t make it, but definitely don’t listen to her as she tells you that other guests can’t attend. When she tells you what other people say, I would respond: “I think i’ll wait to send them their invitation and receive their rsvp, thanks!”

Post # 10
Member
3531 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d keep everything as is and tell her, and if she brings it up again I’d just say you’ll be happy with whoever can make it and it’s fine if people can’t. End of story. No one is twisting anyone’s arm here so her campaign is just to be a whiny pain in the ass.

I’d also still send her an invite, not because I’d even be interested in her attendance at this point, but just because she already got a STD.

Post # 11
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

Out of control! She’s completely thrown protocol out the window, so I say no need to send an invite! Whether you want to confront her about “poisoning” the sentiment with other guests is up to you as you’re in your rights but obviously you can’t prevent her from speaking to third parties. If they know her they will hopefully recognize this selfish BS for what it is!

Post # 13
Member
6834 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Why is she your friend exactly? This person sounds horrible!

Post # 14
Member
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Be the bigger person and ignore her. Don’t feed into the drama. 

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