(Closed) not sure how to interpret this invite…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
9635 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@amicelli13:  strangest thing i have ever seen.  your Fiance should call them and say if you both can’t attend everything than neither of you will be attending anything.

Post # 19
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

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@amicelli13:  Tell your fiance that you feel slighted by this. If you are both not fully invited, then you both should not attend. Whatever their reasoning for inviting him and half-ass inviting you, it doesn’t make it right. 

Post # 20
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@amicelli13:  I understand budget/venue constraints, but to just leave you out is really rude. Since you’re engaged, you come together. If they don’t have the space or money to host both of you, I would politely decline. 

Post # 21
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

YUCK! that’s so rude AND unclassy! I would never tell someone “oh we only want you for photos and dancing, you’re not invited to the dinner so you’ll have to find something else to do between the times by yourself since we want your Fiance all day, but not you!”

Post # 22
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

If we were invited like that then we wouldn’t go. They would just have to understand. 

Post # 23
Member
3679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Super, super rude — especially because they want you at photos. “Oh, you’re good enough to be in our pictures, but we won’t feed you” is what that says to me. I can’t believe your fiance isn’t offended for you. What are you supposed to do until 8pm? Hang out by yourself in a strange town?

Post # 25
Member
4799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know some bees will disagree and say this isn’t worth the argument, but I would be FURIOUS that my Fiance was okay with this arrangement. How would the bride like it if you told her to make herself scarce during your reception dinner and that only her DH was invited to that part? This is so rude it blows my mind – you don’t split up an engaged couple, you can’t invite one for the whole day and tell the other she’s only welcome for the ceremony and dancing! I’d be pretty upset with him if he goes along with this, and I wouldn’t attend at all.

Post # 26
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

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@Wonderstruck:  I’m with u. If my Fiance was still down for attending without me, I’d be mad as hell. 

Post # 27
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are all planning weddings here (or have planned them) so we know how frustratingly tight budgets can be and can hopefully forgive the couple a little for it.

 

But yeah, rude rude rude. If you’re a fledgling couple, you might not get an invite. That’s fair. If you’ve been together for a while and don’t get invited, it sucks but it’s a budget thing. If you’re engaged? You’re invited. Or you aren’t invited because it is a small thing. But you don’t get to pick and choose for that, you either invite the couple to everything or you don’t invite the full couple!

Post # 28
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That is really shocking, but honestly I’m even more shocked that your Fiance is not standing up for you and is accepting this arrangement! I wouldn’t necessarily suggest making a scene, or complaining to the groom, because I’m not sure it’s appropriate to essentially be demanding an invitation to a wedding. But I think he should contact them and say he hadn’t noticed the limitations on the invite, and because you’ll be driving to the wedding together, will both only be coming at 8:30. That should get the message across loud and clear that this was way out of line without turning you guys into the rude ones.

Post # 29
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

Beyond rude!!!

Post # 30
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That is beyond rude.  I would certainly “decline” the invitation and expect Fiance to do so a well.  If the two of you were just dating and did not live together, then it would stink, but I at least could see a bit more reasoning.  But as you are engaged-you are cosidered a social unit and should be treated as such even if his friends had NEVER met you before.

Post # 31
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow… That is just beyond rude.  I’m assuming your Fiance is on the same page with you as far as both of you not going?  Spend the $ you would have spent on a gift for them on a nice dinner out and a mani/pedi.

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